A gentler me

Hi gang,
I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying this little break in the bitterly cold weather! I weighed in at 148.5 this morning. If you recall, my starting weight a couple weeks ago was 150.6, so at least the scale is going in the right direction. I am in a really good mind set this week with eating what I need and making it high quality foods. I have been hitting over 10,000 steps daily, except on the weekends, though now that I am working Sat mornings, I may come closer to hitting it at least 6 out of 7 days. I have also been trying to eat 25% less than I normally was. It is a pretty easy strategy to employ: look at the portion you would normally dish out and cut out a quarter of it. There is no shortage of people in my house that will eat that extra quarter so at least nothing is going to waste!!

I have been thinking a lot about that horrible chest pain/heartburn attack I had on Christmas Day. Ok, I am going to get a little weird here so feel free to skip down to how the rest of the family is doing. I was really in a lot of pain and seriously thought we were going to have to call the squad.  The next day, my Grandma passed and I usually look for a sign from family and friends that have passed. It could be a song, or something someone says or even a smell, but there is always something I find that make me know they are ok where they are. The more I think about it, the more I think, or want to think, that the terrible chest pain I was feeling was the pain leaving Grandma, into me, so she could pass. Because I know I felt like I was going to die, that's for sure!

Since then, I have become a much more mellow person, a lot less snappy with the kids, much more patient, in a nutshell, a lot lighter in attitude and stress. And when I find myself getting all riled up at Middle's basketball games (this is easy to do!!), the chest pains come right back. It is a quick reminder for me to calm down and just enjoy the moment. Clearly this is my sign.

But if I text you that I am having a heart attack, I may be, so please call the squad. At least you know my medical history!

Kids and Husband are doing well. Everyone is adjusting to me working Sat mornings. Though I had a big pang of mommy guilt on Sunday morning when Youngest climbed into bed and asked if I had to go to work. Felt like he punched me in the stomach, but he was thrilled I was home and promptly ignored me the rest of the day to do his own thing!

There is a chance Daughter's best friend will move at the end of the summer. Speaking of being punched in the stomach, this is a hard thing to digest on two levels for me. 1) I think of her as my other Daughter and I love her and 2) I remember how much is sucked when we moved from CA when I was in 8th grade. I can remember exactly what the weather was like, calling my friends to say one final good bye the morning we left. I can clearly remember how empty I felt. I am lucky to have kept in touch when them over the years, the old fashion way via letters and now Facebook. I will not belittle Daughter's feelings and tell her that it will all be ok, because for awhile it will not be ok. It will suck for both of them. I am hoping they change their plans and don't move but the upside of this generation is Face Time, Skype and all the other ways they can stay in instant contact. And I hope it makes Daughter a little more at ease to know I still keep in touch with Rob and Zip. Once a best friend, always a life long friend!!

Youngest is having a MUCH better week at school this week. We have an agreement that if he has two good days, I will pick him up after school on the second day instead of the 30 minute bus ride home. So far so good! Middle is just about done with basketball. I have really mixed feelings about this whole travel basketball experience. It was way more intense that I think it should have been but I think for him, it has been a really good experience overall. He may not think so now but he will. Next up is baseball for him and track for Daughter.

Any good Valentines Day plans? I have requested a card from my beloved but nothing else. His birthday is two days after VDay so I will make a nice dinner for us to celebrate both next weekend.

For now, I am going to crank up my Island Jam on Iheart radio and get some dishes, homework and hair cutting done. Tomorrow is all ready Thursday, this week is flying!

Have a great rest of your week, friends!!

Cat