My life: an update

Hi Friends!

Sorry it has been soo long since I blogged last. I know you are all sitting, waiting anxiously to hear the blather I have to spew.

Wait no longer! I am ready to spew.

Ewwww.....

The last 7 days have been brutal. Just down right mean and brutal. But despite how crappy things have been, I have been wearing this face all week 

I am reluctant to let the people I work with know what it is going on in my personal life. It is a weird thing I have that comes with working with mostly women. I have two people who I really trust and confide in at work, the rest just think I must be on drugs because I am so happy all the time.

And I still won't friend my Boss on Facebook.

I feel like I am in a good place at the Assisted Living Facility. I am hitting my stride and getting a better grasp on the timing. And no one yelled at me last week. Bonus.

I have really felt like this all week

What is ironic about this picture is she is leaning against her microwave. Our handle ripped right off the microwave last week, thus starting the landslide of crap. Do you know how often I use that radiation machine?? A lot more than I realized. Hence why the handle is now duct taped to the door.

Add that to the list of things to buy.

When we hit the lottery.

Kids update

Youngest went for Autism testing last Friday and Monday, two hours each time. To say he hasn't been the same since, is a gross understatement. His Psychologist had him do really difficult things but couldn't offer help as that was part of the testing. Nothing like hearing your child sob and moan your name thru three sets of doors knowing this was for his own good.

Really. Nothing like it.

I believe Middle child may be close to puberty. He will be 11 Monday (Had a small meltdown at Giant Eagle the other night when he was with me. A dad was pushing his 18 month old in the cart and they were so cute and all I could think about was how I used to take Middle to Meijer at 5am and push him around just for something to do. Eleven. I don't know how we got here.) and has been an emotional mess (this isn't new, just a little more severe). I have been in contact with my friend/his teacher and she assures me all is ok at school.

Daughter is getting Physical Therapy for her back pain and is out of Track season. And I am still waiting for her to get her driving permit. It is time for her to drive!!

I am losing my mind.

Husband is tired of me losing my mind.

But he continues to love me. Thank heavens.

Health and Wellness

You know I like a good diet study. Well, a gal I work with is doing a study where she gets an appetite suppressant or placebo and has to track her food and exercise and turn it into the study every week. She has lost 19lbs in two months and has cut her medical meds in half. This has inspired me to get back to logging my food but I am doing it in a journal first and then will add it to sparkpeople. I like the actual act of writing what I ate, makes me think twice about eating it if I have to write it down (side note, last week, I ate whatever the heck I wanted and didn't gain any weight. Felt pretty icky though from all the bread). I am going to do this for awhile and see how it shakes out.

Final note  

To put in the "Life is Short" file: A woman I work with is 32 school days from retiring from the district I work in. She started as a two hour lunch help and over the decades moved to the Secretary to the Superintendent. She is currently in the ICU for beginning stage Kidney Failure, has contracted E Coli while in the hospital and is not expected to be OK anytime soon.

32 days until freedom and not working.

ICU.

Enjoy every darn day, even the crappier than usual ones. 

Be well, Friends!!

Cat

Academy Awards, Sports Illustrated and other qwips

I don't watch the Academy Awards. My life, for the last umpteem years has revolved around Pixar. If they are not in it, I am not watching. Even if they are in it, I am not watching. It's an awful long time to spend celebrating other people's success. And if they aren't dressed in Hane's t-shirts and Yoga pants, the fashion aspect is not for me.

Ok, people, help me out here: I have passed the SI Swimsuit edition many times in the last couple weeks. Is the model pregnant? I love the fact that she isn't stick thin but I can't tell if she is pregnant or not. The belly and the boobs scream "I have a baby in here!!!" but I have not picked up an issue to read anything about the young lady. And why does she have a bikini bottom on and a parka? Again, fashion ain't my thing. And I don't know why I care if she is pregnant or not. I guess it would be cool if she was, maybe SI is trying to be progressive?

Speaking of: I have been surrounded by pregnant women lately. This is new and fun since it has been awhile since most of my posse has cranked out any youngin's. A friend at work is almost due. It is fun to talk about what she thinks labor will be like as I have no idea since I had all c-sections. Fun to think she will be off the rest of the school year. Maybe she needs a nanny...or a cook....

When I went in for my interview at the ALF (Assisted Living Facility) I met the Marketing Director who happens to live right across the road from me. Our meeting was so brief that I didn't remember her name at all. She was in this past Saturday showing some families the facility and we started talking. She is also expecting, talked about cravings, birthing methods and birth control. And that we have the same last name. In the matter of about 34 seconds, we were instant friends. Amazing how open people can be when they feel comfortable. That's a big deal to me: for people to be comfortable with me that they will talk about anything. I consider that a personal victory.

My boss is mad that I won't friend her on Facebook. She has not so subtly brought it up A LOT in the last week. Call me old fashioned but I do not think my boss needs to be my friend on FB. I won't friend my co-workers either. We see each other every day and show each other our Iphone pics. I don't feel the need to be FB friends with them, too. We all text each other endlessly, for me, that is enough.

I cannot run anymore. My right knee will have none of it and I am not willing to risk having surgery for something that I never enjoyed doing anyway. I will continue to walk and do weights and workout dvds, but my running days are over. I am so envious of my friends who look forward to it, I hated it. I never lost weight doing it and it is getting me back two fold with knee pain now.

I am this close (imagine me making the inch sign with my fingers) to trying Sensa. But then I question my ability to shake stuff on my food at every meal and if it really works. And then I go back to thinking that if I can continue to maintain my current weight, I will be happy. I am not willing to cut anything else out and I know I need to do more aerobic activity (even though I nail about 12-13000 steps a day. most of it is not heart pounding). I don't feel like I have gotten into a groove since I started my new HS position.

I am lacking a groove.

I think I am grooveless.

Is this worthy of calling a doctor??

There is a good chance you will not see me in a bikini this year. Or any year. Sorry, I know you are crushed.

I hope everyone is doing well. I know illness and other issues have been plaguing close friends lately and I wish the best for all of you. I have been fortunate to make some really good friends lately. Not sure if they will be long term but they are friends right now.

And that's good enough for me.

Cat

Three weeks of changes

Hi friends!
This won't be a weigh in blog for several reasons: Went out two night's ago to celebrate Husband's birthday. There may have been all kinds of yummy food and drinks involved and it didn't seem fair to me to weigh in this morning.

And in general, I have been doing a lot more of this

Than I have of this

I will say that I am still within my normal weight range thanks to being on my feet 6 days a week. Though, this presents another problem for me: I am hitting and exceeding my 10,000 step goal every day (with the exception of Sunday's, but I am going over a good 2-3000 a day, so it makes up for being a bum on Sunday). I feel like I don't need/want to work out during the week. But if I want to lose another 5-7 lbs, I am going to have to.

But I am tired.

And my knees hurt.

And I am tired.

I have been doing some strength training but it has been minimal at best. But at least I am doing it. Right?

I had my first breakfast and lunch service alone this past Saturday. I nailed breakfast but lunch I completely underestimated! I had to griddle fry 50 chicken breasts and then get them in the oven. It took me a lot longer than I thought to flour them all before the griddle! My first batch was soggy, so we served those last. Batch two and three were ok. Not stellar, but ok.

I got a text this morning from my Boss, LunchLadySteve, and he told me that Residents were very complimentary about my meals and so were the staff. I am sure there were complaints as I got one before I left, but it was nice to know most of them liked my work.

Husband asked me early Sat morning why I am working this job: my first response was money. It will be nice to get ahead and do some updates on the house and not worry about sports fees, etc etc. But once I get to work, my answer is: Because I love to cook and make people happy thru food. Sure, when my alarm goes off at 5am on Saturday's, that is NOT my first thought, but when I am in that kitchen alone, doing my thing, THAT is the reason I do it. 6 days a week I get to do what I love and get paid for it. I am a lucky girl.

It has been a big change for all of us to get used to me not being around as much, but they are all doing well. Husband will be out of town for a couple days so I am curious to see how I pull it all together. Hard to be in 5 different places at one time but I am going to try.

I have joined an online weight management program with Aetna thru Husband's work. It is a free service and I think I need some extra support at this point. Plus we earn money towards our account. I am hopeful they have some good ideas to get me back on track with working out. It's can't hurt, right?

Hope you are all doing well and everyone is staying relatively healthy! 

Good health to you all!

Cat

A gentler me

Hi gang,
I hope everyone is doing well and enjoying this little break in the bitterly cold weather! I weighed in at 148.5 this morning. If you recall, my starting weight a couple weeks ago was 150.6, so at least the scale is going in the right direction. I am in a really good mind set this week with eating what I need and making it high quality foods. I have been hitting over 10,000 steps daily, except on the weekends, though now that I am working Sat mornings, I may come closer to hitting it at least 6 out of 7 days. I have also been trying to eat 25% less than I normally was. It is a pretty easy strategy to employ: look at the portion you would normally dish out and cut out a quarter of it. There is no shortage of people in my house that will eat that extra quarter so at least nothing is going to waste!!

I have been thinking a lot about that horrible chest pain/heartburn attack I had on Christmas Day. Ok, I am going to get a little weird here so feel free to skip down to how the rest of the family is doing. I was really in a lot of pain and seriously thought we were going to have to call the squad.  The next day, my Grandma passed and I usually look for a sign from family and friends that have passed. It could be a song, or something someone says or even a smell, but there is always something I find that make me know they are ok where they are. The more I think about it, the more I think, or want to think, that the terrible chest pain I was feeling was the pain leaving Grandma, into me, so she could pass. Because I know I felt like I was going to die, that's for sure!

Since then, I have become a much more mellow person, a lot less snappy with the kids, much more patient, in a nutshell, a lot lighter in attitude and stress. And when I find myself getting all riled up at Middle's basketball games (this is easy to do!!), the chest pains come right back. It is a quick reminder for me to calm down and just enjoy the moment. Clearly this is my sign.

But if I text you that I am having a heart attack, I may be, so please call the squad. At least you know my medical history!

Kids and Husband are doing well. Everyone is adjusting to me working Sat mornings. Though I had a big pang of mommy guilt on Sunday morning when Youngest climbed into bed and asked if I had to go to work. Felt like he punched me in the stomach, but he was thrilled I was home and promptly ignored me the rest of the day to do his own thing!

There is a chance Daughter's best friend will move at the end of the summer. Speaking of being punched in the stomach, this is a hard thing to digest on two levels for me. 1) I think of her as my other Daughter and I love her and 2) I remember how much is sucked when we moved from CA when I was in 8th grade. I can remember exactly what the weather was like, calling my friends to say one final good bye the morning we left. I can clearly remember how empty I felt. I am lucky to have kept in touch when them over the years, the old fashion way via letters and now Facebook. I will not belittle Daughter's feelings and tell her that it will all be ok, because for awhile it will not be ok. It will suck for both of them. I am hoping they change their plans and don't move but the upside of this generation is Face Time, Skype and all the other ways they can stay in instant contact. And I hope it makes Daughter a little more at ease to know I still keep in touch with Rob and Zip. Once a best friend, always a life long friend!!

Youngest is having a MUCH better week at school this week. We have an agreement that if he has two good days, I will pick him up after school on the second day instead of the 30 minute bus ride home. So far so good! Middle is just about done with basketball. I have really mixed feelings about this whole travel basketball experience. It was way more intense that I think it should have been but I think for him, it has been a really good experience overall. He may not think so now but he will. Next up is baseball for him and track for Daughter.

Any good Valentines Day plans? I have requested a card from my beloved but nothing else. His birthday is two days after VDay so I will make a nice dinner for us to celebrate both next weekend.

For now, I am going to crank up my Island Jam on Iheart radio and get some dishes, homework and hair cutting done. Tomorrow is all ready Thursday, this week is flying!

Have a great rest of your week, friends!!

Cat

Fortune Cookie

I am veering off my weigh in posts because I haven't had much time to focus on working out. I am at 149 lbs right now and am really confident I will get to my goal by the end of Feb.

We had a busy night last night of picking kids up and basketball. Though we rarely eat out as a family, I felt it was warranted and frankly necessary to eat out last night. We opted for Chinese and it was mighty tasty! The kids favorite part of the meal, of course, is the Fortune Cookies. We all go around the table and read our fortune. Most of the time, they don't apply to our lives, or are silly, or just don't make sense. But mine made me catch my breath:

From now on, your kindness will lead you to success.

Wow, that could not have come at a more appropriate time. Next Saturday I start my new part time job at the Assisted Living facility. The path that led me to this exciting time looks like this:

A couple years ago I found Lunch Lady Steve a job at the High School

He repaid the favor by getting me my two hour position

He left to be Food service Director at the facility

I got promoted to his job

He was able to shuffle people around so I could work Sat mornings

It has been a crazy couple of years of he and I getting each other jobs, but it is our friendship and kindness of   the people involved that was able to make it all possible.

I am so thankful for my Husband and family for adapting so well to me being gone. They didn't really have a choice but everyone has stepped up and makes our crazy schedule work. I have no doubt they will get thru Saturday mornings without me just fine.

I have made some really great new friends recently and feel really blessed to have these people in my life. They all bring a new level of happiness and motivation to my life.

Youngest continues to have stomach issues so we are gradually adjusting his diet. Lots more fruits and vegetables and less processed foods. We are applying this strategy to everyone so it will be a good change for our family. Hard to swallow (literally!) but good.

I hope you all  are doing well. I am looking forward to these upcoming changes, a little worried about staying on top of it all, but thankful for the chance to do what I love.

Have a great rest of your weekend!! More basketball for us tomorrow.

Cat

Weigh in #5

Weigh in 1: 150.6 lbs, Body fat 31.6%, Muscle 36.5%
Weigh in 2: 148.2 lbs, BF 30.9%, Muscle 36.8%
Weigh in 3 (this am): 150.4 lbs, BF 31.6%, Muscle 36.2%
Weigh in 4: 150.6 lbs, BF 31.6%, Muscle 35.9%

Weigh in 5: 149 lbs and I don't have the other numbers because my cheap scale sucks and I don't have the receipt to return it!

I will just be posting my weight. I am excited because two women I work with are either doing Weight Watcher's or are trying to lose weight on their own. It is fantastic to have that support system where I work and we have been doing a lot of recipe trading and morale boosting. It is encouraging to see a 60 year old dropping 2 lbs a week on Weight Watcher's. Very proud of her!

It has been a somewhat stressful week. Started with me being sick Sunday night into Monday. Stayed home and slept all day long. My step count on my Fitbit was like 38!! Youngest was sick Thursday night into Friday and he stayed home with Husband on Friday. I believe his stomach issues are tied to dairy so we will be doing some experimenting with lactose free foods. He now just sounds stuffed up, which can be either a cold or food related.

I have been pursing some part time jobs. I interviewed with Rooster's on Weds and though they had no food prep positions open, they did offer me the cook position. I am not comfortable in that role as I have no restaurant experience (sorry Sandy V!!)! I also interviewed at a nursing home and they offered me a 12-4 Sat and Sun position.  This is a tough one: the money would be stellar but the time away from the kids is just too much. Daughter doesn't even get up until noon on the weekends so I would never see her and there is no way we can get Middle to all his sports stuff with dragging Youngest along, too. I have asked if they could put me in a 6am-10am position instead. Waiting on an answer.

I called Former Lunch Lady Steve to pick his brain before I went to the nursing home interview as he is Food Service Director at a nursing home one town over. He called last night to see how it went and we were talking about what a huge time commitment that position would be and he mentioned that he could possibly get me a 6:30am-12:30pm job on Saturday's only. It would pay a little less but it is a smaller facility and it would only be one day on the weekend instead of both. I am hopeful he can pull this off.

I have been overwhelmed this week by the amount of people who support me and my family. We have had to make some schedule changes coming up which means not watching our little Daisy Trooper in the mornings after spring break and having our friend watch Youngest a little more in the mornings. Everyone took the changes in stride and I am so thankful to have these friends in my life.

I have also been talking with my Cousin more (thank you unlimited texting!!) and I am so glad to be in touch with her more. Our extended family is so small, I feel like I need to gather everyone close and hold on tight to them all.

It is not always in times of crisis when you find who your true friends are. You can find them in every day experiences. Be thankful for those good friends you have and be gone with the ones who don't make your heart happy.

Typical Saturday for us today: basketball, grocery shopping, laundry. Our temps are going to start dropping after today so we will get the kids outside and air them out.

If you need some food and fitness motivation, check out the Foodnetwork site: Bobby Flay has some webisodes that are short and chock full of motivation and yummy food.

Have a great weekend, friends. Enjoy the three days off and do something good for your self, and maybe surprise a friend by doing something nice for them, too.

Cat

Weigh in 4. Not so pretty

Weigh in 1: 150.6 lbs, Body fat 31.6%, Muscle 36.5%
Weigh in 2: 148.2 lbs, BF 30.9%, Muscle 36.8%
Weigh in 3 (this am): 150.4 lbs, BF 31.6%, Muscle 36.2%

Weigh in 4: 150.6 lbs, BF 31.6%, Muscle 35.9%

Just a few words:

Bread Lady provided many bags of Bob Evans Biscuits

and

several containers of pasta salad.

I am a weak woman.

Back to my eggs.

Cluck.

Have a great weekend!!

Cat