Never Give Up

That is our family motto. You can hear it said thru homework battles, Wii championships, me making the kids lunch they will eat. The motto is largely driven by Husband who is retired military.

If it was up to me, our family motto would be "Meh, why bother?"

And I blame my mother.

I love my mom, obviously, and she has been nothing but good to me, my family and my brother's family (in her own weird way at times!). But somewhere down the line, she has become VERY pessimistic. It is likely you will hear the following phrase(s) when receiving a gift from her: Happy (insert occasion here)!! You probably won't like the gift/it won't fit/I got it on sale/I have had it for years/give it to the homeless. These comments have become so routine that we all laugh about it now. But it has definitely made it's mark on how I view the world.

I am a glass half empty with a chip in the rim kind of gal. It has always been easier for me to expect nothing and then if something good does happen, whammo! I am thrilled!! Much easier for me to set myself up for disappointment then to expect something good to happen. I know I do this and I try not to relay this crazy thinking to my kids, though I know it seeps thru (they will someday blame ME for their afflictions).

I had a rough evening and day today with Middle child. He finally broke down about why he has been so distraught all week and though it is nothing that he can't handle, it is hard to see my cocky, puffed up kid cry. He will be ok and we will work thru it, but it gave me a lot to think about.

Then he broke our tv today. To be fair, the tv has had some issues that we had ironed out and he was the unfortunate one that hit the button at the wrong time and caused it to die it's final death. But it made me mad, really mad.

So I went for a run. Daughter watched the boys and I hit the pavement. I think about all kinds of things when I run and today was no exception. Most of my thinking was centered around my negative, internal talk, what I can do for Middle child, why is their lawn so nice?, and Squirrel!!!

I also thought about Husband. No matter what we face, he cheerfully will say to me "Never Give Up". That got me thru the last couple minutes of my run and I was sure to thank him today for being the glass is not only half full but over flowing member of the family. I could not get thru any of this without him.

On a side note, I made a killer dinner again of chicken thighs, canned tomatoes, and olives. Served it over orzo. YUM.

But you probably won't like it :)

Cat

Purging

No, not THAT kind of purging. Purging of the closet kind. I was able to sleep in this morning and while being hopped up on a good nights sleep and 3 cups of coffee, I looked at myself in the mirror and thought "hey, there's that cute girl that used to live in this body a dozen years ago". Amazing what sleep and coffee will do to one's mind. And then I thought "Why do you keep crap in your closet that doesn't fit, flatter, or is just plain out of date?" Soo guess what I did this morning? I cleaned out my closet!!

These are the before shots. I am embarrassed by how sloppy it is. But as bad as my side is, I did NOT take a pic of Husband's side. I wasn't sure he would be on the purging band wagon (which he actually was) so I didn't take any shots of his side.

I started with all the stuff on the top shelf and am happy to report than I got rid of some outdated sweaters. Midway thru this process, my feet got cold and I decided to put some socks on. You know how most people lose one sock every time they do laundry? I think my socks multiply in the drawer

I had NO IDEA I had this many pairs of workout socks!! I had some workout clothes in the drawer with them so they must have been all mushed up together. I took the clothes out and all the socks showed themselves. What kind of loon has this many pairs of socks?? I gave Daughter a couple pairs, kept a weeks worth for me, and donated the rest. Husband didn't even know I had a sock drawer, let alone a sock fettish!

Back to the closet and I took a hard eye to every thing I had hanging up. I had a lot of conversations with myself that went like this:
Will you really wear that waffle weave dress when you get to your goal weight?
Why do you have a maternity shirt in here from when you were pregnant 15 years ago?
Why did you buy that ugly ass sweater?
Note to self- write Hanes a thank you note for all their awesome t-shirts
Did I really wear THAT out in public?

I was able to finally let go of a lot of stuff. I do still have what I call "the irrational" pieces of clothing: a sweater  my ex-mother in law gave me (she passed away a few years ago), a few skirts I keep as "funeral pieces"-you never know when you will need to wear something blah to a funeral, and another bunch of skirts that remind me of how I looked thin. I know I won't wear them when I hit goal weight, but they are a good reminder for me to keep my nose to the grind stone.

Here are the after shots

All of those empty hangers on the end are for the new pieces I will be getting when I go down another side. And that cute little pup on top of my sweat pants is our Backup Kipper. Middle child got one just like it when he was little and took it everywhere. I was terrified he would lose it so I bought another one and he has been in my closet for 9 years. I love Backup Kipper.

Here is the donation pile. The shirts folded up are going to my friend's wife. I sure like horizontal stripes and the color orange. I need to quit that. Immediately.

Can you tell the Buckeyes play tonight? Husband has his jersey out in the background! He did a great job getting rid of stuff and he is a borderline hoarder.

All in all a good experience and I can't wait to fill it back up with some pieces that are a little less utilitarian and a little more cute!
Cat
PS. I don't normally post on the weekends but my neighbor SK was nice enough to tell me she likes my blog and reads it everyday. So this is for you and Dex!! Maybe if you read it allowed to him he will fall asleep??

Shopping and another ugly food fact

Daughter and I both had off today. How the planets aligned so that happened, I will never know but am thankful for it. We planned a morning of shopping and then lunch. Neither she or I are long, drawn out shoppers, so I knew this would be a breeze. She's like me: she knows what she wants and likes what she likes. Easy to shop that way.

We went to 

If you don't have one in your area, it is a resale store that features mostly teen stuff. They have Hollister, Gap. Abercrombie, Aero, etc. I had never been before but I tell you, they have a lot of great stuff at least 70% off retail price. Daughter got some shirts and a couple skirts for about $30, and it was all either Hollister or Aero stuff. I even scored a super cute rust colored denim Gap coat for $6!! It is a large and I am just psyched I can shop at a teen store now!

With all that shopping, we worked up an appetite. Ok, I can walk two steps and be hungry but you know what I am going for here. Daughter decided on Chipotle for lunch. SCREECH! I do not think there is a Paleo thing to eat on that menu, actually, it is the anti Paleo menu (beans, corn, rice tortillas). But I was determined not to ruin this moment of bonding and hopped on the Chipotle train (truth be know, Husband and I would eat there every weekend then sleep for hours. Hence how I got fat!!)

I ordered what I thought was a reasonable menu choice: grilled chicken salad. It did have rice and black beans which not only added 320 calories but are a Paleo no-no. But I didn't get cheese, quac, or sour cream. Daughter and I did get chips and salsa and I did order the vinaigrette for my salad.

Had a nice lunch together and when I got home, I decided to see how much damage I had done with lunch. I admit, I was feeling pretty righteous as my teen daughter scarfed down an entire burrito (I think it weighed more than her). I was STUNNED and PISSED OFF when I saw my calorie/fat counts. My salad, alone, was not too bad: about 600 calories and only 10 or less grams of fat. 600 calories for a salad to me is too steep but rice and beans will do that to you. Here is the kicker: the "vinaigrette" that I put on my salad, all 2 oz of it (which I think is like a teaspoon, maybe a little more) was 260 calories and 24.5 GRAMS OF FAT! What the hell?? How does something so small carry that much fat????

But it gets better. The 4 ounces of chips that I ate, came in at a whopping 570 calories and 27 GRAMS OF FAT! 

Basically, my salad, sans the dressing, was about 1/3 the fat calories of the dressing alone and the chips. This to me is just bull crap and I have written the company to know how and what they cook their chips in and what the heck is in that dressing! My chips and dressing carried over more than 50 grams of fat! That's a whole day.

Now, I realize that people do not eat out because it is nutritionally sound. We eat out to get away from cooking, to hang with friends, to enjoy time with our daughters. And I did tell Chipotle that I was thankful they post their nutrition info. And to an extent, it is my fault for not looking things up before I went.

I suppose the moral to the Chipotle story is: things aren't always what they seem. I think we all know that but it is good to be reminded. I won't even tell you what Daughter's calorie/fat counts were. It is good to be 14.

Have a great weekend!

Cat

Fall

I love this time of year. The leaves changing colors, the kids getting excited about Halloween, and my favorite holiday is coming....THANKSGIVING!! I cannot put into words how much I love Thanksgiving. Whether we are spending time with extended family or just our family, it is the best day ever to me. We always do our turkey on the charcoal grill and it is the best turkey you will ever have (note to Sister In Law..have that grill ready..). It cooks faster than in the oven and just tastes better.

The one thing about this time of year I used to dread was having to put jeans on. Will they fit? Will I have to wear elastic pants all winter? For many years, the answer was No, they don't fit so yes, I will have to wear elastic pants until summer. Then more elastic in the summer. I loathe the inventor of elastic.

But not this Fall. This fall I had to buy a pair of jeans because my other ones were too BIG. I am happy to say they are a size 10. And I am rocking them!

I would like to settle in at an 8 but I will take a 10 for now.

I make a conscious effort to not gain weight over the holidays. In fact last holiday season, I lost a couple pounds. It is a little easier for me than for most because I don't really like

I can pretty easily stay away from it. I do love potatoes, gravy, and stuffing but am going to limit how much I eat and be sure to get my weekly runs in. And continue my strength training.

It is never to soon to get a plan together on how to get thru the holidays. It can be a stressful time but try to focus on family and friends. This is the time to really be thankful for all we have.

Have a great day today!

Cat

Startling Food Facts

I still log my food onto www.sparkpeople.com every day. With Paleo eating, you are not supposed to need to count calories, fat, etc because you are eating only things that are healthy for you. Well, I cheat a little (gravy, bottled dressings, etc) so I still log my food so I know where I am at. Plus, it is a mind game for me: if I see that I have eaten 3/4 of my days worth of protein for breakfast, I manage to stay fuller longer and not snack at work.

Here are some interesting and somewhat startling calorie and fat info from what I have eaten recently:

2 oz of 90/10 (90% lean, 10% fat) ground beef has 150 calories, 12 grams of fat and 10 grams protein. 2 oz is like two tablespoons!!

2 oz of boneless, skinless chicken breast has 62 calories, 1g fat and 13g protein

3 oz of cooked shrimp has 84 calories, 1g fat and 18g protein

1 cup of yellow corn has 132 calories, 30g carbs, 1g fat, 2g protein. That is a ridiculous calorie and carb count! I love you corn, but I may need to replace you.

1.5 cups of green cabbage has 33 calories, 7g carbs, 0 fat, 2g protein

The moral of the story here is stick to lean protein and veggies. I was really surprised at how high the counts are on even lean ground beef. Can you imagine what the 80/20 stuff is doing to your arteries?? Keep that in mind, too, when you are feeding your kids tacos or hamburgers. Stick to the lean stuff so they can be around longer to aggravate us!!

Make it a healthy day!!

Cat

Full time career

I admire any woman that has kids and a full time job. I had a great career once, one that carried a lot of responsibility and the nice paycheck to match. But then kids happened and my once serious career became a string of part time careers. They have all been great part time careers but sometimes I really long to be back in the land of the full time career.

Husband came home the other day and told me there is a job opening up in his department that I would be great at. I used to work at his company, full time, and I know the hiring supervisor. Other than having mixed feelings about working with my husband (and this may be an issue for the company, too), I am pretty sure I would do well at this job.

But who would get the kids on the bus in the morning? Where would they go after school? What do I do on the afternoons I pick up Daughter? Who watches them over holiday breaks and summer? Could youngest handle more time at school or in day care? The kids couldn't spend summers with their friends.

You see where this is going. It hit me like a sad ton of bricks that there is a good chance I will never go back to work full time. Lunch Lady Land may be the be all end all of my professional career. I know the kids would 1) like the more money aspect of me working full time and 2) would probably adjust but I just don't know if I could adjust. I feel guilty now about missing school events and I only work 10 hours a week!!

I have thought about it and am not going to pursue the position. Full Time career land will have to stay a thing of the past for awhile. I will be the best cavemom and lunch lady I can be. That's what we tell the kids "Be the best you can be". Words to live by.

Sloppy Joe out.

Cat

The end of Paleo?

I was pretty sure this blog would be about my giving up the Paleo lifestyle. It is kind of boring, I miss bread; or at least the ritual of dipping my bread into my egg in the morning, or making a sandwich to eat in the car while I run errands. I miss my spreadable Laughing Cow cheese wedges, I miss my cans of soup.

Last weekend I ate what I wanted. No logging food, though it is always in the back of my mind what I ate. I ate a LOT of processed foods today and to be completely honest, by about 5pm today, I felt like garbage. I felt greasy, hungry, and not at all satisfied with what I had eaten. I needed more to make me feel full. So I ate and ate and continued to feel worse and worse. Huh. Maybe there is something to the Paleo way of eating?

I am going to keep eating as well as I can but balance in the times I really want some soup or a sandwich. I need to factor in how it will make me feel and be sure to beef up my protein and veggies for the rest of the day. I think I can make a good balance out of the whole process but it will take time.

I was pretty skeptical about the Paleo eating, but I find myself drawn to it more than eating crap food. I can actually feel and tell there is a difference.

Listen to your body. It knows more than you think!

Cavemom out.

Cat