Never Give Up

That is our family motto. You can hear it said thru homework battles, Wii championships, me making the kids lunch they will eat. The motto is largely driven by Husband who is retired military.

If it was up to me, our family motto would be "Meh, why bother?"

And I blame my mother.

I love my mom, obviously, and she has been nothing but good to me, my family and my brother's family (in her own weird way at times!). But somewhere down the line, she has become VERY pessimistic. It is likely you will hear the following phrase(s) when receiving a gift from her: Happy (insert occasion here)!! You probably won't like the gift/it won't fit/I got it on sale/I have had it for years/give it to the homeless. These comments have become so routine that we all laugh about it now. But it has definitely made it's mark on how I view the world.

I am a glass half empty with a chip in the rim kind of gal. It has always been easier for me to expect nothing and then if something good does happen, whammo! I am thrilled!! Much easier for me to set myself up for disappointment then to expect something good to happen. I know I do this and I try not to relay this crazy thinking to my kids, though I know it seeps thru (they will someday blame ME for their afflictions).

I had a rough evening and day today with Middle child. He finally broke down about why he has been so distraught all week and though it is nothing that he can't handle, it is hard to see my cocky, puffed up kid cry. He will be ok and we will work thru it, but it gave me a lot to think about.

Then he broke our tv today. To be fair, the tv has had some issues that we had ironed out and he was the unfortunate one that hit the button at the wrong time and caused it to die it's final death. But it made me mad, really mad.

So I went for a run. Daughter watched the boys and I hit the pavement. I think about all kinds of things when I run and today was no exception. Most of my thinking was centered around my negative, internal talk, what I can do for Middle child, why is their lawn so nice?, and Squirrel!!!

I also thought about Husband. No matter what we face, he cheerfully will say to me "Never Give Up". That got me thru the last couple minutes of my run and I was sure to thank him today for being the glass is not only half full but over flowing member of the family. I could not get thru any of this without him.

On a side note, I made a killer dinner again of chicken thighs, canned tomatoes, and olives. Served it over orzo. YUM.

But you probably won't like it :)

Cat

Purging

No, not THAT kind of purging. Purging of the closet kind. I was able to sleep in this morning and while being hopped up on a good nights sleep and 3 cups of coffee, I looked at myself in the mirror and thought "hey, there's that cute girl that used to live in this body a dozen years ago". Amazing what sleep and coffee will do to one's mind. And then I thought "Why do you keep crap in your closet that doesn't fit, flatter, or is just plain out of date?" Soo guess what I did this morning? I cleaned out my closet!!

These are the before shots. I am embarrassed by how sloppy it is. But as bad as my side is, I did NOT take a pic of Husband's side. I wasn't sure he would be on the purging band wagon (which he actually was) so I didn't take any shots of his side.

I started with all the stuff on the top shelf and am happy to report than I got rid of some outdated sweaters. Midway thru this process, my feet got cold and I decided to put some socks on. You know how most people lose one sock every time they do laundry? I think my socks multiply in the drawer

I had NO IDEA I had this many pairs of workout socks!! I had some workout clothes in the drawer with them so they must have been all mushed up together. I took the clothes out and all the socks showed themselves. What kind of loon has this many pairs of socks?? I gave Daughter a couple pairs, kept a weeks worth for me, and donated the rest. Husband didn't even know I had a sock drawer, let alone a sock fettish!

Back to the closet and I took a hard eye to every thing I had hanging up. I had a lot of conversations with myself that went like this:
Will you really wear that waffle weave dress when you get to your goal weight?
Why do you have a maternity shirt in here from when you were pregnant 15 years ago?
Why did you buy that ugly ass sweater?
Note to self- write Hanes a thank you note for all their awesome t-shirts
Did I really wear THAT out in public?

I was able to finally let go of a lot of stuff. I do still have what I call "the irrational" pieces of clothing: a sweater  my ex-mother in law gave me (she passed away a few years ago), a few skirts I keep as "funeral pieces"-you never know when you will need to wear something blah to a funeral, and another bunch of skirts that remind me of how I looked thin. I know I won't wear them when I hit goal weight, but they are a good reminder for me to keep my nose to the grind stone.

Here are the after shots

All of those empty hangers on the end are for the new pieces I will be getting when I go down another side. And that cute little pup on top of my sweat pants is our Backup Kipper. Middle child got one just like it when he was little and took it everywhere. I was terrified he would lose it so I bought another one and he has been in my closet for 9 years. I love Backup Kipper.

Here is the donation pile. The shirts folded up are going to my friend's wife. I sure like horizontal stripes and the color orange. I need to quit that. Immediately.

Can you tell the Buckeyes play tonight? Husband has his jersey out in the background! He did a great job getting rid of stuff and he is a borderline hoarder.

All in all a good experience and I can't wait to fill it back up with some pieces that are a little less utilitarian and a little more cute!
Cat
PS. I don't normally post on the weekends but my neighbor SK was nice enough to tell me she likes my blog and reads it everyday. So this is for you and Dex!! Maybe if you read it allowed to him he will fall asleep??

Shopping and another ugly food fact

Daughter and I both had off today. How the planets aligned so that happened, I will never know but am thankful for it. We planned a morning of shopping and then lunch. Neither she or I are long, drawn out shoppers, so I knew this would be a breeze. She's like me: she knows what she wants and likes what she likes. Easy to shop that way.

We went to 

If you don't have one in your area, it is a resale store that features mostly teen stuff. They have Hollister, Gap. Abercrombie, Aero, etc. I had never been before but I tell you, they have a lot of great stuff at least 70% off retail price. Daughter got some shirts and a couple skirts for about $30, and it was all either Hollister or Aero stuff. I even scored a super cute rust colored denim Gap coat for $6!! It is a large and I am just psyched I can shop at a teen store now!

With all that shopping, we worked up an appetite. Ok, I can walk two steps and be hungry but you know what I am going for here. Daughter decided on Chipotle for lunch. SCREECH! I do not think there is a Paleo thing to eat on that menu, actually, it is the anti Paleo menu (beans, corn, rice tortillas). But I was determined not to ruin this moment of bonding and hopped on the Chipotle train (truth be know, Husband and I would eat there every weekend then sleep for hours. Hence how I got fat!!)

I ordered what I thought was a reasonable menu choice: grilled chicken salad. It did have rice and black beans which not only added 320 calories but are a Paleo no-no. But I didn't get cheese, quac, or sour cream. Daughter and I did get chips and salsa and I did order the vinaigrette for my salad.

Had a nice lunch together and when I got home, I decided to see how much damage I had done with lunch. I admit, I was feeling pretty righteous as my teen daughter scarfed down an entire burrito (I think it weighed more than her). I was STUNNED and PISSED OFF when I saw my calorie/fat counts. My salad, alone, was not too bad: about 600 calories and only 10 or less grams of fat. 600 calories for a salad to me is too steep but rice and beans will do that to you. Here is the kicker: the "vinaigrette" that I put on my salad, all 2 oz of it (which I think is like a teaspoon, maybe a little more) was 260 calories and 24.5 GRAMS OF FAT! What the hell?? How does something so small carry that much fat????

But it gets better. The 4 ounces of chips that I ate, came in at a whopping 570 calories and 27 GRAMS OF FAT! 

Basically, my salad, sans the dressing, was about 1/3 the fat calories of the dressing alone and the chips. This to me is just bull crap and I have written the company to know how and what they cook their chips in and what the heck is in that dressing! My chips and dressing carried over more than 50 grams of fat! That's a whole day.

Now, I realize that people do not eat out because it is nutritionally sound. We eat out to get away from cooking, to hang with friends, to enjoy time with our daughters. And I did tell Chipotle that I was thankful they post their nutrition info. And to an extent, it is my fault for not looking things up before I went.

I suppose the moral to the Chipotle story is: things aren't always what they seem. I think we all know that but it is good to be reminded. I won't even tell you what Daughter's calorie/fat counts were. It is good to be 14.

Have a great weekend!

Cat

Fall

I love this time of year. The leaves changing colors, the kids getting excited about Halloween, and my favorite holiday is coming....THANKSGIVING!! I cannot put into words how much I love Thanksgiving. Whether we are spending time with extended family or just our family, it is the best day ever to me. We always do our turkey on the charcoal grill and it is the best turkey you will ever have (note to Sister In Law..have that grill ready..). It cooks faster than in the oven and just tastes better.

The one thing about this time of year I used to dread was having to put jeans on. Will they fit? Will I have to wear elastic pants all winter? For many years, the answer was No, they don't fit so yes, I will have to wear elastic pants until summer. Then more elastic in the summer. I loathe the inventor of elastic.

But not this Fall. This fall I had to buy a pair of jeans because my other ones were too BIG. I am happy to say they are a size 10. And I am rocking them!

I would like to settle in at an 8 but I will take a 10 for now.

I make a conscious effort to not gain weight over the holidays. In fact last holiday season, I lost a couple pounds. It is a little easier for me than for most because I don't really like

I can pretty easily stay away from it. I do love potatoes, gravy, and stuffing but am going to limit how much I eat and be sure to get my weekly runs in. And continue my strength training.

It is never to soon to get a plan together on how to get thru the holidays. It can be a stressful time but try to focus on family and friends. This is the time to really be thankful for all we have.

Have a great day today!

Cat

Startling Food Facts

I still log my food onto www.sparkpeople.com every day. With Paleo eating, you are not supposed to need to count calories, fat, etc because you are eating only things that are healthy for you. Well, I cheat a little (gravy, bottled dressings, etc) so I still log my food so I know where I am at. Plus, it is a mind game for me: if I see that I have eaten 3/4 of my days worth of protein for breakfast, I manage to stay fuller longer and not snack at work.

Here are some interesting and somewhat startling calorie and fat info from what I have eaten recently:

2 oz of 90/10 (90% lean, 10% fat) ground beef has 150 calories, 12 grams of fat and 10 grams protein. 2 oz is like two tablespoons!!

2 oz of boneless, skinless chicken breast has 62 calories, 1g fat and 13g protein

3 oz of cooked shrimp has 84 calories, 1g fat and 18g protein

1 cup of yellow corn has 132 calories, 30g carbs, 1g fat, 2g protein. That is a ridiculous calorie and carb count! I love you corn, but I may need to replace you.

1.5 cups of green cabbage has 33 calories, 7g carbs, 0 fat, 2g protein

The moral of the story here is stick to lean protein and veggies. I was really surprised at how high the counts are on even lean ground beef. Can you imagine what the 80/20 stuff is doing to your arteries?? Keep that in mind, too, when you are feeding your kids tacos or hamburgers. Stick to the lean stuff so they can be around longer to aggravate us!!

Make it a healthy day!!

Cat

Full time career

I admire any woman that has kids and a full time job. I had a great career once, one that carried a lot of responsibility and the nice paycheck to match. But then kids happened and my once serious career became a string of part time careers. They have all been great part time careers but sometimes I really long to be back in the land of the full time career.

Husband came home the other day and told me there is a job opening up in his department that I would be great at. I used to work at his company, full time, and I know the hiring supervisor. Other than having mixed feelings about working with my husband (and this may be an issue for the company, too), I am pretty sure I would do well at this job.

But who would get the kids on the bus in the morning? Where would they go after school? What do I do on the afternoons I pick up Daughter? Who watches them over holiday breaks and summer? Could youngest handle more time at school or in day care? The kids couldn't spend summers with their friends.

You see where this is going. It hit me like a sad ton of bricks that there is a good chance I will never go back to work full time. Lunch Lady Land may be the be all end all of my professional career. I know the kids would 1) like the more money aspect of me working full time and 2) would probably adjust but I just don't know if I could adjust. I feel guilty now about missing school events and I only work 10 hours a week!!

I have thought about it and am not going to pursue the position. Full Time career land will have to stay a thing of the past for awhile. I will be the best cavemom and lunch lady I can be. That's what we tell the kids "Be the best you can be". Words to live by.

Sloppy Joe out.

Cat

The end of Paleo?

I was pretty sure this blog would be about my giving up the Paleo lifestyle. It is kind of boring, I miss bread; or at least the ritual of dipping my bread into my egg in the morning, or making a sandwich to eat in the car while I run errands. I miss my spreadable Laughing Cow cheese wedges, I miss my cans of soup.

Last weekend I ate what I wanted. No logging food, though it is always in the back of my mind what I ate. I ate a LOT of processed foods today and to be completely honest, by about 5pm today, I felt like garbage. I felt greasy, hungry, and not at all satisfied with what I had eaten. I needed more to make me feel full. So I ate and ate and continued to feel worse and worse. Huh. Maybe there is something to the Paleo way of eating?

I am going to keep eating as well as I can but balance in the times I really want some soup or a sandwich. I need to factor in how it will make me feel and be sure to beef up my protein and veggies for the rest of the day. I think I can make a good balance out of the whole process but it will take time.

I was pretty skeptical about the Paleo eating, but I find myself drawn to it more than eating crap food. I can actually feel and tell there is a difference.

Listen to your body. It knows more than you think!

Cavemom out.

Cat

My baby turned 8

I have a really hard time with my kids birthdays. I don't like to see them getting older. How is it that the older they get the younger I feel? Almost like I am too young to have these kids. Who left me in charge of these people's lives? Clearly someone who smokes a lot of crack.

We pulled off a big coup for Youngest's birthday. We took both boys out of school (Daughter was unable to make it due to her ridiculously hard 8th grade schedule) and headed north to America's Biggest indoor water park.

We did a lot of this

And Husband and I drank a couple drinks. We had a really fantastic time and Youngest told us over and over how it was the best birthday ever. It was a good time for the boys to be brother's without Sister trying to be Mommy or taking off with Middle child. It was a lot of fun to see them act as 8 and 9 year old's.

I apologize to the teachers out there but I think taking the kids out of school when they weren't sick was the best thing ever. The kids will remember this for the rest of their lives.

Happy Birthday, Boo Boo.

Mom

Funny kid things

I took the kids to another local town fest. This one is usually a BIG hit with youngest as it has lots of:

The bouncy house has been a favorite of his for as long as I can remember. It wasn't too busy at the fest and the lines weren't too long to get into the various bouncy things. But when faced with the prospect of waiting in line for a couple minutes of bounce, OR being able to roll down one of these, 

as many times as he wants, without wait, and without mom yelling about grass stains, he chose the HILL.  Daughter and I laughed, a little sheepishly, at his first couple attempts to roll down. His body coordination is not that of his age so it takes him a bit to get it all worked out. The first two times down were slow and really awkward. But then he got the hang of it and before we knew it, he was rolling down the hill at top speed! We got a good laugh out of that, too. Grass stains and all, it was fun to watch.

The kids got prizes at various game stations and youngest thought he picked out a Pumpkin shaped balloon at one station. But upon opening it, Daughter pointed out that it was not a balloon but a whoopee cushion. 

I haven't seen one of these in years and the boys had never seen one. Daughter blew it up and showed the boys how to use it, the sounds it made, in the car on the way to taking her to her dads. I cannot recall a time we laughed so hard because of the faux farting noises coming from the backseat. The boys were besides themselves and I laughed because it WAS funny and because Daughter was laughing with the boys, not at them. A rare moment for sure.

It is days like these that remind me that having three kids IS manageable, and even a little silly at times. Enjoy your time with your family.

Best to you and yours,

Cat

Odds and Ends

This entry is just some food things I would like to share. As mentioned before, I do not like traditional breakfast sweets. I could eat eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, sausage and biscuits with gravy every day. I would be dead within a couple years but I could do it. I have become very creative with my breakfasts lately and my favorite is my version of Egg Foo Young. Wait! Don't leave, just hear me out.

1 large egg

3 egg whites

any left over veggies you like: I add green beans, bamboo shoots, broccoli, carrots (you get the idea)

1 tsp or so of Lite Soy Sauce

1/4 cup fat free gravy

Left over chicken or shrimp (you get tons of protein without this)

Whisk the eggs and soy sauce together, add veggies

Spray a medium pan with non stick spray

Add it all in, let it cook, without scrambling for a couple minutes

Flip and cook on other side until firm

Spread the gravy on it and eat

YUMMY!

The calorie/fat/protein count on that is ( I did not add chicken or shrimp this am)
Calories:191

Fat: 5 grams

Protein: 25 grams

If you don't own a crockpot, you should. I have two, though one is on it's last leg. It is a fantastic way to cook a whole bunch of anything and there is minimal effort involved. If you have an Aldi near buy, I encourage you to go: they sell whole, frozen chickens for $.85 a pound! For our family, one 5 lb bird can feed us for a couple days and costs less than 5 bucks. Soups are great to make in a crockpot, too. Throw in some broth, protein, veggies and at the last 10 minutes, throw in some pasta. Voila, dinner is ready.

I also buy a lot of chicken thighs. They are usually on sale a couple times a week for $.99 a pound and they are sooo much tastier than breasts. My favorite thing to do is: season with salt and pepper, brown on both sides in a non stick pan, then throw in a can of tomatoes and some green and black olives. Let it simmer on low-medium for about 25-30 minutes and serve with couscous. The meat is so tender and the tomato sauce is sweet and salty from the olives. It is also a good mix to use with fish.

I make several early Saturday morning trips to the supermarket with Youngest in tow. I have found that a lot of the meat dept. packaged meat is marked down. I assume they think weekends are busiest and they will move the meat faster? Anyway, it is a good time to stock up on meat.

My favorite thing to get from Sam's Club is their individually frozen Ahi Tuna fillets. The bag is 32 oz and costs less than $14. It has 8 individually frozen 4 oz fillets. I  pop one out in the morning, go to work, and it is thawed for lunch. This is sushi grade stuff so I sear it quickly on both sides and am done. Good luck getting sushi grade stuff from the grocer at that price.

Just a few ideas from me to you. Let me know if you have any good grocery store finds! Have you ever ordered groceries from Amazon or another online retailer? Do you shop a lot at Trader Joe's or Whole Foods?

Cat

Thin line

Being a mom is really hard at times, or most of the time for me. At least that's how it feels. We are always on the line of doing what's right and going the easy route.

Youngest had a really hard week a couple weeks ago and I don't know what is going on with his behavior. It could be just getting older or it could be that his teachers want him to do more on his own. He is the baby at home, so why should he have to do anything on his own at school? This is my fault.

Youngest struggles with social skills and while I am thrilled when the neighbor kids ask him to come out to play, I still feel like I need to watch what he does and says. Most of the neighbors "get" him and play accordingly but some don't and it is causing ME major anxiety issues. I have been stepping back and letting him go at it with the kids because he needs to learn to play well with others. If you have a kid that is not socially appropriate, this is really tough to witness. Or not witness as I am hiding in the back room.

Youngest and I had a good night a couple nights ago, he did well with neighbors and while I was going thru Youtube to watch music videos, he came in, sat with me and critiqued my upcoming running list with some good suggestions. While he may not be the best at dealing with friends his age, he knows how to get to me.

Youngest, this is for you:

Cat

A mom on the edge..

And I am not talking about the edge of Glory. This isn't a story about me, though I am in it, but most of you will relate.

Two things you should know about me 1) I am not a very patient person. Having a son with delays has improved that condition but I am in no way a patient person. 2) I am not very sympathetic. You get sick or hurt in this house and it is: are you ok? Ok, here's a bandaid/tissue/ cold medicine, now get over it. I get this from my dad.

My Youngest and I had an especially trying evening the other night. Since Husband has even less tolerance than I, I usually deal with most of Youngest's issues. The evening ended with both of us in tears. Not a great way to go to bed.

Woke up early in the morning and  Youngest and I vowed to have a better day. Took Youngest, alone, for an afternoon of fun at a local park. Big Fall Fest going on, we go every year so we are excited. We did the usual local stuff and it was time for Youngest to play on the playground: one complete with cool cement tunnels to run thru.

As Youngest is having a blast and I am sitting on the grass just keeping an eye on him, I hear the call of a mother on the EDGE:  "SAVANNAH, WHERE IS HUNTER? I TOLD YOU NOT TO LEAVE HIM ALONE ON THE PLAYGROUND! WHY WOULD YOU PLAY HIDE AND SEEK ON THE PLAYGROUND, SAVANNA??? YOU NEVER LISTEN!!" Oh boy, I have been there and it is an unattractive place to be. Hunter was quickly found and I wanted to tell Mom that ALL the kids play hide and seek at the playground. But I didn't say anything. I took a deep breath and tried to take in the moment. I am too preoccupied with where we have to be next that I never just take in where we are and what we are doing. I took a picture of the tree above..I am yet to figure out how to place pics in these blogs!

And then I heard the unmistakeable sound of Youngest's blood curdling screams. Before I even saw him, I knew he had hit his head in the cement tunnels. I took the time to get him out and cradle him in my lap. He recovered and got back on the playground but he has a goose egg to prove that we had "big fun" today.

We have all been that mom on the edge but take a minute to dial it back. Yelling at your kids in front of 100 people does nothing but make you look like you could use some meds. I know it is hard, I have had 8 years of dialing it back. But it can be done.

Take a moment to breathe it all in. Happy Fall!

Cat

Two week mark

Husband and kids have taken to calling me "cavemom" because of my Paleo/Primal eating experiment. This is what I would look like if I was an actual cave person. Though I am sure there would be a hollowed out rock full of wine in my other hand.

I am mid way thru this month long eating experiment. I am not sure how I feel about it yet. On one hand, it is easy to make meals since it is all meat/poultry and a veggie. But I do make Husband a side dish of stuffing or potatoes or noodles and I do have a bite or two. Just not a full portion.

I seem to have more energy or at least I am napping less. My mood seems to be a little more even keeled and my grocery bill is a lower since I am buying less processed food. I do find myself looking longingly at a can of soup: how easy to open, heat and eat. But then I look at what's in it and the names I can't pronounce and I head back to my can of tuna.

I am getting a little bored with my food selections. Only so much ground turkey one person can eat. I think I need to go back to the book and see what kind of herb and spice combo's they used on their food. Jazz it up a little.

I thought I would be losing more weight than I have. I am not as puffy as I used to be so there is progress there. I feel leaner and stronger but that could be because I am running again. Hard to say just yet.

I will keep you posted on the last couple weeks and give my decision in the end.

Be well,

Cat

I would like to thank Britney Spears..

Britney went from this:

To this:

To thankfully this:

I have always liked Britney Spears and her music. And I thought, early on, that she was a good role model for young girls. Then things went south and I wrote her off of my radar. She came back with the new cd and seems to be doing well.

What made me stand up and take notice is when Daughter said "That Britney Spears, she has been thru a lot. In front of everyone, she face planted but she came back and she is better than ever. That shows a lot of guts". The wisdom of a 14 year old is lost on me sometimes, but this time, she is right.

I cannot imagine what it is like to live in the public eye. Let alone hit rock bottom for everyone to see. Most people would end it there. But she didn't. Britney got her crap together and came out better than ever. I wish her much success for the sake of her boys and I hope she continues to rock it.

Find inspiration in an unlikely place and see where it leads you.

Cat

Fashion

I don't follow fashion. It took me a long time to see fashion as art that you wear. I admire people who are creative because I am not. I still can't wrap my mind around people that go to fashion week and say "Yes, I need to have the winged, feathered collar, shirt dress!"  Had it not been for Garanimals as a child, I would have been a plaid, striped nightmare for sure.

If you look in my closet, you will notice a few things: 1 pair of jeans that are a little big, 2 pairs that are 12 years old that I hold onto as my "target weight" jeans. Which is kind of silly since I will be buying new jeans when these last 12 lbs are off. I also own a ridiculous amount of black yoga pants. These pants were part of my demise. Anything with an elastic waist was my friend for a loooong time. I have vowed that over the winter, I will be sure to wear something with a snap and zipper most of the time. You can't tell you are putting on weight when you wear the oh so comfy black yoga pant! I also own a LOT of Hanes t-shirts. Being a lunch lady does not call for much creativity in the wardrobe dept. So I basically buy the same shirt, in a rainbow of colors and call it a day. I own a couple sweaters and some long sleeved Hanes shirts, too.

It is pretty boring in that closet. When I am down to my target weight, I will be going on a shopping spree. Nothing winged or feathered but definitely clothing that is more fitted and a little girly. I am ready to show off my hard work.

Where do you like to shop? What's in your closet?

Thanks for stopping by.

Cat

Sometimes it is the LITTLE things that make you laugh

My neighbors have a little girl that looks just like this, but with dark hair. 

They have a male dog that looks like this. 

The little girl was out walking the little dog this afternoon when I happened to look out my front window. It seems little dog has not been downsized to a little balls dog and he was humping that poor little girls leg like there was no tomorrow! Other neighbor girl tried to pull the dog off only to have him snap at her.

So in your head picture Cindy Lou Who walking this little dog that is firmly attached to her leg, and about the same size as her leg. I laughed a lot. Maybe more than I should but boy, it was funny!!

Have a good weekend!

Cat

40 pounds lost

I got on the scale this morning and it's official, I am 40 lbs down from 4 years ago. I have 12 pounds left to go and I know I can do it.

This journey has taught me a lot about eating, exercise, and how to treat myself right. But one thing I forget along the way is that I am not alone in this journey.

I have been taking on the SuperMom persona the last couple years and sometimes the burden has been overwhelming. I haven't wanted other people in my family to worry about anything so I have taken it all on myself. There is only so much pressure a damn can break before it bursts.

Yesterday it burst. I had what my Husband would call a "crucial conversation" with him about all the burdens I have been carrying and the minute I got it all of my chest, I felt more than 40 lbs lighter. I felt years younger and I continue to ask myself "Why in the world did I let it go on so long?" I should have trusted that those around me can help lighten the load and ease my burdens.

It is a good lesson to have learned and will go forward with more of a SuperMom TEAM attitude. Let someone you love lighten you load, everyone will be better for it.

Cat

"I can't believe how GOOD you look!!"

Husband and I went out with friends last night and my one friend made the above comment upon seeing me for the first time in months. My mind immediately goes to two places 1) You betcha I look good, I look HOT, or 2) Geez, I must have looked like CRAP last time I saw her. I know her comment was meant as a compliment ( I have major mental issues with compliments) so I took it in stride as best I could.

Today, I finished 7 days of Paleo eating. I have noticed my mood is more stable and I am not taking a nap every day. Even if I try, I am not tired enough to sleep. I have also noticed I am craving bread like nobody's business. Of course it doesn't help that Husband brought home yummy sub sandwiches yesterday and the bread looked heavenly. I am going to stick with this eating for a full four weeks and see where I end up. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and I will NOT forgo any favorites on that one, very special, day.

Last November, as a birthday present to myself, I signed up for a 1/4 Marathon for this past May. The most I had ever run was a 5k, this is double that. I "trained" as much as I could over the winter but our weather was colder and snowier than usual, so my "training" was not as much as I hoped for.

My goal for the race was to finish and not be Medivacked out of there. My gal pal, who did this with me, ran the whole race. I did NOT run the whole race, but ran most of it. I finished in 1:23 which was astonishing to me, I had put myself in the over 2 hour category.

I have not run since that May day. I tanked out on the whole running thing. But I have been thinking long and hard about it and I want to do it again in May 2012 and RUN the whole thing. I know running is what kept the weight off over the winter and having something to aim for, helps me out a great deal. I am a good 12 lbs lighter than May so that should make the running even easier.

So again this November, I will buy myself an early birthday gift and sign up for the 1/4 marathon.

Think of something you think you can't do, make a goal to do it and follow thru. You will be amazed at what you can do.

Running,

Cat

On the fence, literally

Our backyard backs up to a pretty busy road. The speed limit is ridiculous (55)(though I just found out it may be changed to 35!!) as many people stop to turn into the various subdivisions that are on this road. We have lots of accidents on the road, especially in the winter. The morning we moved in, 6 years ago, was a slick January morning. I was at the house alone as Husband and family were packing up the other house. At about 9am, a Jeep slipped off the road, took out a 20 foot pine tree and came thru our fence. Thankfully everyone was ok, fence was replaced and we all moved on.

This is a story about another accident.

A cold, snowy night this past winter, Husband, daughter and I were up late on a Friday night watching tv. At about 11pm, we heard the sound we know too well: car hitting car. I throw on my snow boots and run to the fence line to see one of the cars on the other side of the road. It was crushed on the one side and smoke was pouring out. People were stopping to help and I yelled to them that I would call 911. I get in the house and tell Husband, who is a First Responder at his work, that the one car is crunched and I think the people in it are hurt. He throws on his coat, runs thru the backyard and leaps over the fence (It's a 5 foot fence). I was impressed, hadn't seen him move like that in years.

I make the calls to the appropriate authorities, within minutes they arrive. I decide I, too, should go out and help: put on snow boots and big, green down filled jacket (think Michelin man on steroids) and head out thru the back yard. I am a little shorter than Husband so I know I won't be able to "leap" over the fence. I get my right leg on the fence, and I am stuck!!! My jeans are stuck between the pickets and my left leg isn't able to touch the ground to boost me over.

I start yelling for Husband, who to my knowledge is still at the crash scene (along with police and paramedics). But he can't hear me over all the noise. I yell for Daughter but the house is far enough away, that she can't hear me either. I almost start yelling to the firemen that are 5 feet in front of me, but am way too embarrassed. People could be critically injured, and here I am, stuck on the fence.

After what seemed like an eternity, but was really just a couple minutes, I am able to get myself free, falling into a heap in the snow.

You would think that's the end of the story...but no...

I am determined to get to that road and help. So I go running thru the neighbors back yard to take a short cut to the street. It seems they were having a dinner party.  And as I am lumbering by, in my big green coat, I see them all staring at me. I can only imagine what they were thinking (they did call the next day to verify that that was ME, running thru their yard and not some big, green Sasquatch). Our relationship has never been the same.

I finally make it to the crash scene and Husband isn't there! The authorities have everything under control, so I lumber back to the house. It seems as I was making my way thru the neighborhood, Husband had hopped back over the fence and was looking for me!

We still laugh about me getting stuck on the fence and the prospect of the paramedics having to help me down as well as the crash victims. I had a huge bruise on the inside of my leg for a long time. A nice reminder of what NOT to do in the case of an emergency.

Just call 911, leave the rescuing to the professionals.

Cat