How much do you want it?

I was going to title this blog "How badly do you want it?" but didn't want a negative tone. "Bad" is a negative word, unless you are "bad" ass, in which case, I envy you.

First and foremost, how was YOUR Christmas???? Mine was good. Got everything I asked for, including my new 12 lb weights. The kids were satisfied with their less than enormous haul, primarily because they got what they asked for. I should have realized a long time ago just get them what they want. Could have saved us tons of cash!

My folks were with us for a couple days, which is always nice. They read my blog now, so I will only say good things about my parents. I love them and they are very generous with me and my family. Did I mention I love them?

And I got the best present of all: I am up to SIX followers now. I send my love and gratitude to the Love Shack for being my 6th follower. Thank you and I hope I don't let you down.

Ok, with house keeping out of the way, let's get down to this blog.

I managed to keep my weight in check over the holidays but it wasn't easy. But something clicked in my head that I really want to hit my goal and maintain it. That is where the "How much do you want it?" came into play. I want it very much. I am so close that there are no excuses left. None.

So I promised myself a reward that is near and dear to my heart. It is personal (not like yicky personal) and I won't be sharing it with you, but just know that it is something that means a lot to me. Ok, for those of you that know me well know I will tell you what it is when I hit my goal!! So hang in there with me.

I joined Sparkpeople 5 years ago this January. I have said it before but it has been one of the biggest aides in my weight loss journey. One of the things they suggest doing is an Inspiration Board. You cut out words or pictures that inspire you to continue eating and living well. I always thought this was a LAME idea. But you know what? I want my goal enough that I am switching things up and made a Board of my own. Daughter helped me, too. Any chance I get to spend one on one time with my teen age Daughter is the most wonderous time in the world.

Here is what we came up with:

Daughter cut out the pic of the avocado with the jeans on saying "It reminds me of you. Avocado's are cute and it's wearing jeans like you do". Huh??? But I took it as a compliment and she put it center stage of my Board. It is on my kitchen cabinet so every time I am in there, I remember what this is all about.

I don't make New Year's resolutions. I make enough weekly and monthly goals to choke even the best life coach. I try to make everything I do better than I did it before. I apply this to all aspects of my life: health, finances, relationships. It isn't always easy but it is worth the effort.

I hope you all had a great Christmas and enjoy ringing in the New Year! It will be just my little family watching the ball drop, but we will make it better than any year before.

Thanks for reading!!

Cat

Wrapping things up

This will be a short post as it has been a long couple days. We finished wrapping all the gifts tonight. As much as I was excited about two out of three of my kids knowing Santa is just "in spirit", kind of bummed me out that Middle child was so into what he was getting. It was much more fun when we didn't wrap gifts in front of him. Note to self: Let Youngest think there is a Santa until he is 50.

Speaking of Youngest, he has been on my every last nerve since break started because he doesn't understand yet the days of the week and how long apart things are. Every day we would have a conversation about how many days until Christmas Eve, and what really is Christmas eve and when do the presents come and how many days after the presents do I go back to school and how much Prozac can mom take at a time and you see where  I am going with this???. I try to patiently show him the calendar and how much longer he has to wait. Still not clicking with him.

After trying two of my "dance your ass" off dvd's today, I hated both of them. Which is ironic since I majored in dance for two years at OU. I said screw it and colored my hair instead. As I was sitting at the computer, with goop in my hair, Youngest asked me what was in my hair. I tried to explain it best I could (it is stuff to cover all the grey hair you people give me!!) and I think he kind of got it. Then in the most serious expression he could muster, he said "You are still really pretty anyway."

Clunk. My heart just fell to the floor. As much and as often and he tries my patience, my heart is his. He is my favorite. For today anyway....

I wish you all the best for this Christmas Season. It is hard with the kids home but I try to remind myself DAILY to only yell at each of them ONCE a day. The rest of them time I try to embarrass them by hugging and kissing them. They leave me alone more when I do that.

I will be spending the next couple days with my family and I hope you do the same with yours. Be thankful and love the people around you. I love each and every one of the five of you that read my blog. You are truly the cream of the crop!!

Merry Christmas!!!!

Cat

Climbing out of the puddle

So as soon as I mention that I am floundering in a puddle of no motivation, I get the desire to get a whole bunch of stuff done today! Perhaps it was a good night's sleep and that I am out of work now for two weeks that improved my attitude? Regardless, I had a great day of eating well, tried a new "Walk off Belly Fat" dvd (My belly fat did NOT get the memo and is still here, will keep working on it though!!), organized and cleaned out my downstairs bathroom vanity and under the kitchen sink.

I would like to pause for a moment and reflect on how good it feels to clean something out......ahhh.....it feels good to throw crap out!! I should do it more often.

There is lots to be done in the next couple days but I feel like I am getting back on that track I spoke of yesterday. Sometimes wallowing in the puddle is all I need to actually get myself out of it. It's ok to wallow, not to drown.

A pic of picking up my Army nephew at the airport last night. Please thank those Military, Police, and Firefighter people you know. They risk their lives daily to keep us safe.

Have a great night!!

Cat

Floundering

I have been feeling a lot like this lately: A Flounder, just floundering along. I feel as though I am in a pit of despair when it comes to working out, losing weight, and eating well. Ok, maybe not a pit of despair, more like a puddle of non-motivation. After that 4.5 lb weight gain ( I did get two of those pounds off quickly by staying away from the tater tot) I have had no direction, no aim. Just floundering along.(side note: how seriously messed up looking is a flounder?? I am going to put your eyes and mouth on top, give you one fin, and squash you like a pancake. Voila! We have A Flounder!).

The Me of Christmas pasts would have a conversation with myself (it may be out loud if I am in the car or alone) that goes like this:

Why are you worried about your weight? You lost 40 lbs and look great. Life is short, you should eat what you want and exercise when you want. You are the adult here, you make the decisions!! Who cares if you are getting squishy in places again? Husband loved you when you were a hideous troll, what's a couple squishy places between spouses??

But the new, improved, 42 year old me had this conversation with myself today:

You know what? I have hit a rough spot, the holidays are here, my schedule is crazy. It's not going to hurt you to eat better at every meal and pop in a workout video a couple times a week (I actually went to the library and got some new ones, just to add some variety). You worked hard to get this weight off and you know how good you feel when you are lifting weights, eating well, and doing aerobics. We will get back to a schedule in a couple days. Hang in there.

Now there's a pep talk I can stand behind. I am looking forward to putting my new library dvd's in tomorrow and busting out some hip hop moves! Laugh if you must but I was this close to getting a Richard Simmons dvd!! Hip hop seemed a little more my speed, but we will see. I may be more Sweating with the Oldies than I thought!!

The highlight of my day, actually the highlight of a long time, was going with Husband and the boys to meet my nephew at the airport. He is on a 20 day Army leave from Korea (things are not well there, it was lucky he got out for leave) and it was soo nice to give him a big hug (ok, it was more of him giving me a big hug because he is a tall man!!) and have the boys get to see him. Youngest told him that he prays for him every night and that really touched my nephew. Truly a great night for all of us. So glad he is home. 

As for me, I will be all right. I will jump over that puddle of non-motivation and get back on the right track. It can be done and I know how to do it!!

Have a great night.

Cat

Non-traditional Christmas

Hi gang! I hope you all had a good weekend. I was a little under the weather but managed to watch Middle Child's basketball team rally from behind and beat the other team 26-25. Proud of my son and his team.

As a family, we don't have many Christmas traditions. Christmas day is always kind of an unknown until about a week before: grandparents may not travel because of weather, some may travel because of the weather, Daughter is/is not at her dad's (this I do know ahead of time). So our Christmas's are rather low key. I believe I have mentioned I like this best about this holiday. We kind of wing the whole thing.

Normally this would drive me up a wall, but I have learned that some of the best times come out of the ones we did not plan. Just like Youngest being a boy instead of the girl we planned on, sometimes the surprise is better than the event.

Friday night we did something we have never done before: we made graham cracker houses (instead of gingerbread). This is what we started with:

 I forgot to take a picture of the can of vanilla frosting, but that's what we used to hold them together. That was the hardest part of this endeavor, holding the pieces together.

 This is Youngest, very serious about his creation. I think he was more concerned about WHEN he could eat it more than how it looked. He is starting to look more like Middle child more every day.

 That's the whole gang, including the neighbor friend that was over for the evening. There is always an extra on staff in case one of our stars needs a break!

 Middle child with his creation. I think he has a BIG blob of frosting in his mouth...

 Pretty girl with her pretty castle. She managed to eat half a can of frosting in a day and a half. Bleck.

Husband with his teepee. He and I have little patience for creative works. Mine was a teepee as well, with a wall of marshmallows in front.

I don't know that this tradition will "stick" with the kids but everyone had fun and we listened to Christmas music the whole time we worked on them. I don't think you have to have a picture perfect Holiday to make it memorable. It's all about family, laughter and a LOT of sugar :)

Hope you all have a good week and holiday. My schedule and the kids are whacky this week so you may not hear from me much. Trying to be in many different places at once, but thankfully Husband is home to help.

Do something fun with your kids today!!

Cat (the Troll)

New Nickname

A funny thing came out of my evening with friends; a new nickname for me. I am now known, to my Husband and LunchLady man I work with as "Troll" or more accurately, "Hideous Troll" (Husband would like me to add that he doesn't actually think I am Troll-like, he just goes along with the joke).

And there is a funny story to go with it.

My friend and I went over to LunchLady's house Sat night. Husband stayed home to watch the kids so it was four of us, LunchLady's wife included. 

A glass or two of Sangria into the evening, I remarked at how much time Husband likes to spend with me. That he wants to be with me ALL the time. LunchLady's wife jumped right in and said " It is because you look soo much better than you did before! Maybe he thinks you will find someone else". I brushed it off and chuckled. My Husband is no slouch in the looks dept, so I hardly think he feels threatened by my improved downsize.

I had forgotten about the comment until Husband and I were getting ready for bed two night's ago (Interesting fact about us: we hardly talk to each other when we are in the house together, but the minute one of us leaves for work or to run an errand, we call each other to talk about what we are doing! And we like to wait until 11pm to talk about what we did that day.). I told him what LunchLady's wife said about me and he said "Were you hideous before? Were you a hideous troll??" We laughed and laughed, primarily because we both knew that's NOT what she meant, but I love the word hideous and troll, so it stuck.

At work this morning, I told LunchLady about it and he defended his wife by saying "What she meant was: you were ugly when you were fat but now that you are skinny, you are hot". We laughed and I now I am referred to as Troll at work, Hideous Troll if he has time to get the whole name out.

You need to be able to laugh at yourself. I find myself quite amusing most of the time, so it is easy for me. You are all funny in your own ways. Embrace it.

Hideous Troll

Basics

In the last week or so, I have put on 4.5 lbs. Whoa! Yeah, I am thinking that, too. Too much bread, processed food, and not getting my aerobics in. I have been steady with the weight training but really need to get back to running or some type of aerobics several times a week.

This is a hectic time of year but seeing that number on the scale reminded me, in big BOLD numbers, that I have to take care of myself first. I am so close to my goal, I don't want to blow it over a few minutes of tater tot casserole bliss. Not worth it.

Husband is going to Sam's Club today to load up on pork and chicken. Need to get our basement freezer stocked so I always have a lean protein to eat. This is key to my success.

Please take a minute when you are at the store to buy an extra can of tuna or soup of Hamburger helper to donate to your local food pantry. Every day is critical for families that don't know where their next meal is coming from. Help them out today and as much as you can through out the year. They aren't hungry just around the holiday's.

Ok! Let's get back to what we know we should do to be healthy and get this weight off.

Have a great Thursday!!

Cat

Frustration, disappointment and a plastic angel

Hey gang!
How was your weekend? Get your Christmas shopping done? Wrap anything yet? My answers, in order are: good, no and no. I am close to getting shopping done but need the kids to pick out what they want to buy for each other. There is a $10 cap and this is the first year we are having them buy for each other. Should be interesting to see what they think the other would like. We will get that done Friday night and Sat morning.

The frustration portion of this post is again about Youngest and his behavior at school. Last week was bad and today was even worse. He can't put into words what is bothering him and honestly I don't know if he knows. Is he not feeling well? Anxious to be out on break? What is it?? He keeps losing privileges and now I am thinking I should take back the DS I bought him. It was going to be a surprise since he had done so well at school, but now, I don't want it to send a signal that he is being rewarded for his bad behavior. I thought it would be good as a reward tool, but he still is borrowing our neighbors and has not been able to play it for quite sometime because of his behavior at school. Clearly playing it is NOT enough to get him to behave. What would you do? Would you be a hard ass and return it, keep it and tell him he COULD have had it had he behaved in school, give it to him anyway? I need some help here, folks.

This morning I was trying to remember what made my birthday so rotten last year. I knew there was something but I couldn't put my finger on it. Then I happened to look at my cell phone contact list, and the first person that is on there is my friend that passed away last year. On my birthday. I remember, quite specifically, NOT writing her passing on my calendar, saying to myself, "How could I ever forget she passed on my Birthday?" And here I had forgotten. I have not forgotten her, of course, and still keep her on my contact list as a reminder that we used to call each other and talk. But I am disappointed in myself that I had forgotten the day she passed.

Feeling bad about myself and apprehensive about how Youngest would do at school today (rotten, again), I went to work. It was Christmas hat day and though I was not feeling very Merry, I wore my most annoying Santa hat with a bell on it. Some of the kids wore funny hats as did the guy I work with (he is a 6'4" 300lb lunch lady!!) and my mood started to lift. As ticked off as I can be on the ride in, that place always makes me laugh. We had our staff Christmas party after work today and did a White Elephant exchange. I got to pick first and picked the oddest shaped gift I could find.

It was an outdoor, plastic angel that lights up! I think it was my friend's way of telling me it was "ok I forgot but thank you for thinking of me as often as you do". My boss was going to steal it from me but I think she could tell by the maniacal way I was clutching it, I really wanted to keep it. The angel is even in our office picture.

I am a BIG believer in signs, kismet, karma, etc. I think the plastic angel, that is now nestled between our reindeer and penguin, is a sign that it will be ok and we are being looked upon by an angel.

I think she fits in just fine.

Have a good evening.

Cat

The End of the Day

I had a pretty good day today, despite an entire week of Youngest having nothing but trouble at school and home. It has been a long week, and I will admit when Husband told me Wednesday that he was taking Friday off to take me to work, hang out there, and "where ever you go, I go" I was pissed. I like my routine. I like being alone when I can.

But as this morning unfolded and I resigned myself to the fact that I have a man that actually likes to spend time with ME, I got over it and was glad to have him around. He got to meet the people I work with, we had a great lunch together, did a little Christmas shopping, and came home for a nap before the kids got home. Though I don't like being smothered, I like being liked, so it all worked out. Another example of me needing to think it through before reacting. Thank goodness Husband is onto my weirdness and can deal with it. I love him.

I weighed in this morning at 145.5. Lowest yet. My goal is 142 so I am close. I ate well all day though I took the day off from working out or weights. 6 days of working out is about all I can do.  I have a lot of eating out ahead of me but thankfully it is with people that are watching their weight, too, so there is no need to go overboard to impress anyone.

My May 2012 5k run music consists of the following (it is really diverse! Artist, song):
Better Than Ezra: Rewind
Usher: Yeah
Pistol Annies: Hell on Heels
Hot Chelle Rae: Whatever
Better Than Ezra: Hung The Moon
Mary J Blige: Family Affair
Better Than Ezra: This Time of Year
The Band Perry: If I Die Young
Foster the People: Pumped up Kicks
Miranda Lambert: Baggage Claim
Kenny Chesney: Ain't Back Yet
Better Than Ezra: Summer House
Maroon 5: Never Gonna Leave this Bed
Better Than Ezra: Porcelain
Kenny Chesney: Somewhere with you
Adele: Rolling in the Deep
Joe Nichols: Gimme that Girl
Better than Ezra: Desperately Wanting

Why so much Better than Ezra from the late 90's? I just found the cd's again and this time of year always makes me reflect on the past. A lot of these songs bring great memories from college and after.

I don't work at the caterer this weekend and I do not have to do my last two hours of training. They are ready to put me on a job but it will be the end of the month. And that is fine with me. The boys are out of school next Fri for two weeks but I still have to work the week before Christmas. Need to find someone to watch the boys Weds (Neighbor K, check your email! I sent you a request to watch Youngest). I still have a couple more things to get for Christmas, but I am close to being done. I think we are going to my mom in laws Christmas Eve day for a bit. That will be nice for all of us.

I get to sleep in tomorrow and Sunday but I also have a lot of stuff I want to knock out this weekend. The boys are growing out of all their pants!!

I have an experiment in place with the kids, though they don't know it. I am not going to buy any pretzels or crackers for them to munch on, but have apples and carrot sticks ready for them. I got Husband on board with me for a week to see how it goes,  and so far, Youngest ate two apples and Middle ate one. I figure if they don't have the processed stuff to eat, they will go for the fruit or veggie. Youngest even ate the chicken I baked in the oven. It seems what people tell me IS true: if they are hungry enough, they will eat it.

Have a great weekend. My first week being 42 has been hard being a mom but as a woman, I am close to my goal and feeling stronger than ever. Ladies, pick up the weights. It will change your body. I can't wait to get my 12 lb weights for Christmas!

Have a great weekend.

Cat

Purging recipes

I like to read. A lot. So it is no surprise that I would go to the library and check out 9 cookbooks at a time. I also like to tear out recipes from magazines, download them off the internet, and share with friends. I have quite a thick file of such recipes and I decided to go through them yesterday and ditch the ones that would not be a healthy choice for myself of my family.

That ditch consisted of 90% of my recipes!

I am excited to get into my library cookbooks and have all ready gotten half way through one of them, "5 Meals for $5. How to feed 5 people 5 meals for $5-$8 or less". By Jaci Rae. I have seen a lot of potential meals, though some are not so healthy ( I am trying to stay away from anything that takes two or more cans of condensed soup). But I have earmarked several pages that look like contenders and can't wait to try some of her recipes.

Some of the other cookbooks I picked up from the library are:

Feeding the whole family: Cooking with whole foods, by Cynthia Lair

The Autism Cookbook, by Susan K. Delaine

The $5 dinner mom cookbook, by Erin Chase

The Best Life Diet cookbook, Bob Greene (I believe he is owned by Oprah)

Semi-Homecooking, Sandra Lee (she violates my condensed soup rule a lot, but I am willing to have a look)

While looking at these recipes, I have the kids more in mind than myself or Husband. We are trying to stick to more Paleo eating (he's more on board since he has put on some weight over Thanksgiving) and though it is costly to buy meat/poultry, when I look at buying the ingredients in these meals, I think it is a wash. If I could just get the kids on board to Paleo eating...I have gotten rid of quite a few processed foods, but sometimes I miss the convenience of heating up some chicken "nuggets".

I will let you know if I find any recipes worth sharing.

Happy Hump Day!

Cat

Time to think

Husband that snores + little dog that snores + Youngest waking up every hour last night + threat of basement flooding from all the rain = lots of time for me to think about things all night!!

I thought a lot about Christmas and what it means to me. Though I like to work myself into a frenzy about Thanksgiving, Christmas is more of a calm event for me. I enjoy just close family, staying in pj's all day, napping, cooking whatever anyone wants. We usually walk around the neighborhood in the evening and check out everyone's light displays and just enjoy some lazy time together.  I am really looking forward to that this year. Daughter will be at her dad's so we get to do Christmas again when she comes. Bonus Christmas for everyone!

We used to have a big New Year's eve party with all of our neighbors and kids. I have fond memories of toddlers in footie pajama's asleep on the floor while the parents counted down to midnight. But then friend's moved away, our kids got older and had New Year's plans of their own, and everyone got strapped for cash. I miss those get together's but I know things change.

What is your favorite thing about Christmas? Do you bake up a storm and have the kids help decorate? I have never done this but may give it a try this year. I know my kids will SAY they will help but when it comes down to it, it will be just me doing it. Though maybe if there are chocolate chips involved they would help out. They do enjoy a good can of frosting, too!

I hope this time of year you can find some calm in all the chaos. Put on some footie pajamas and sit by the tree with your kids. My kids put the Thomas the Train set around our tree and then made a town out of Lego's. Complete with an axe murderer and someone trying to run across the tracks, headless...hmm....need to stop buying those Lego Knight sets!!

Have a good Tuesday!

Cat

This is a short one

I am fortunate that the last few years on my birthday I have been able to say "This is the best shape I have been in in a long time". This birthday was no exception. It makes me look forward to how I will feel and look in another year. This is the year of strength, less complaining and NO excuses. I know what I am capable of and pushing myself, in many aspects of my life, will get me to where I want to be.

 I had a great birthday weekend, ending with a great dinner at my girlfriend's house with 5 out of my 6 closest friends (we missed you Beanie Weenie!!). They are really a wonderful mix of personalities and humor. I am blessed.

It has rained non stop for over 24 hours here. Makes me want to nap all day but I worked out and ate well today. Off to a great start for my 43rd year on the planet!!

Have a great evening everyone. Thank you again for the birthday wishes!!

Cat

My Birthday-recap

I want to send a sincere thanks to everyone that sent me Birthday wishes. I feel overwhelmingly happy to have soo many good friends. It is a little scary to think some of these people knew me in grade school and on from there. That is a LONG time to have been a friend. I applaud your persistence! I just wanted to recap some special and silly moments of my day.


I got up at 6am to get ready to be at my catering job at 8am. I checked my FB page first thing this morning and openly cried at one birthday post I had. It was from Husband's nephew, who is in South Korea in the Army. It was a simple "Happy Birthday, Aunt Cathy" but it brought me to tears. Here is a 19 year old kid who is enduring flooding, being away from family for a year and he is wishing me, someone he barely knows, a Happy Birthday. And he called me Aunt. Seriously? Love that boy.


So from there I gathered myself together and got to work. This is the busiest time of year for the company so there were a lot of people I didn't know and several new people there, like me. So the mood was light, and everyone was doing their thing. I washed a lot of pans and stuff, they were going thru them so fast that I would wash the same thing several times because they were using the things so much. But after a bit of that, Nice Chef had a "project" for me: Slicing 300 POUNDS of potatoes (they were all ready peeled, but I now wonder who did THAT??).  As we were carrying the 100 lb totes of potatoes out of the walk in fridge, Nice Chef tells me I will be slicing all of these by hand. "Ok!" I say enthusiastically. He starts cracking up and tells me that we have an automated slicer and I don't have to do it by hand. I am an idiot. But can I tell you? I LOVE the potato slicer!! It is like a Play-doh machine where you put the Doh in, press the handle down and shapes come out. Same principal. I had so much fun! Plus I was in the middle of the kitchen so I got to talk to everyone. It is soo much fun to be around people that like to talk about food all day long. Ahhh.....burp....


I stayed at work a half hour too long (that's how much I like it!) and when I got home, I was welcomed to a clean house, Birthday decorations and a cake. We opened presents and the kids and Tom ate cake. We all know I don't like cake, it is for everyone else. But that is ok because I ate what I wanted today and didn't work out at all.


From there it was on to Middle child's first basketball game. He scored the first two baskets of the game and played really well for a kid who has never played organized basketball. But what I was most impressed with was his sportsmanship. He was playing against his friend M and M came up to him when he got there and said "You are going to LOSE". Son didn't say anything but I was a little annoyed so I said "Those are BIG words for a little boy". He is like a head shorter than Son. So he was trying to get Son to respond but Son kept saying "We'll see". M didn't score at all but at the end of the game Son made a point to go over and tell him good game but then he added "see who won?". And Son was really supportive of his teammates when they didn't do well. I was really proud of him and I really look forward to his games.


I took a nap in the afternoon and Husband took Daughter to her school function. I made a pretty good Pasole in the crockpot (Mexican soup), downloaded some music and now I must share what I got for my bday:

My new running shoes to go with the new music I downloaded.


Brace yourselves for this:

Mom got me this for my birthday, The conversation went like this:


Me: A blue starfish?
Mom: Your bathroom is blue and you like seashells.
Me: Okayyyy...


This will be someone's White Elephant present this holiday season.


I also got new underwear. You don't need to see that. I need SOME secrets :)


Seriously, I thank you ALL for my Birthday wishes. It HAS been a day about ME, it has felt good, and we are all really need to be over it. Tomorrow I will sleep in and get back to reality. And that's the way I want it.


Cat

Pay attention

Our kids are told, all the time, to "pay attention". Most of our complaints about our kids are about their lack of paying attention.

Question: do you pay attention to YOU? Do you pay attention to what YOU need? Not your kids, not your spouse, YOU?

The first answer to this hit me as I was trying on running shoes at Kohl's today. I was going to sign up for the 10k again in May 2012 because my friend is doing it and because I was going to RUN the whole thing this time around. As I was trying on lots of pairs of shoes, I had THE moment. The moment of, "Why are you doing this? You don't like to run long distances, you like to run a couple miles and be done. Why can't this be recreational and not a race?".

I didn't know what to say to myself. Aren't I supposed to like running since I did the 10k earlier this year? My Husband considers me a runner, what he doesn't know is: I run on the weekends to get out of the house for awhile and listen to my recently downloaded music. NOT because I like to run.

I bought some new running shoes (super cheap. Thanks Kohl's) with the intention of signing up for the 5k of that May race, the one I did years ago for the first time. I can enjoy myself and be part of the running experience. Win win.

My second answer of "Are you paying attention?" came later in the day. As I was on the way to pick up Daughter, there was a HUGE crash on the highway. It looked like one car or van had flipped, caught on fire, all the windows were smashed out and all their stuff was strewn over the highway. All I could see was flashing lights and debris. Had THEY been paying attention? I don't know. Did someone run into them? I don't know. It scares me because I travel that stretch of highway endlessley and always count my lucky stars that I have not been in an accident.

Off to the library. I drop off some dvd's. Pick up some new ones and walk right out in front of a car driven by like a 15 year old. He had no intention of stopping so it is good that I have no balance, stumbled and fell backwards. Ouch.

I am off to pick up daughter. I park in my usual spot and as I am pulling out, almost hit another car.

Eish, what a day.

Maybe we should pay more attention and just stand still sometimes.

Cat

Irrational things we say to our kids

My kids ask me for things endlessley: can I have something to eat, drink, wear, shoot, duct tape, etc. These questions used to get very tiresome when the kids were little as they would persist and wear me down until they got what they wanted.

Enter the irrational things I would say just to get them to stop asking me for things.

Son: Can I have some more juice?

Me: No! And you are not getting any more the rest of this month!!

Son: Can I have some more waffles?

Me: No! Do you know there are kids out there that have never even HAD a frozen waffle??

When they were young, they would listen and be a little fearful that this may have been the last glass of juice they will ever have.

They have grown up and are asking follow up questions. Here was tonight's exchange:

Both son's: Can we play "charge" in the front room? (This is running into each other at top speed with only pillows to cushion their force)

Me: Yes but if either of you gets hurt there is no Chirstmas for either of you!

When they were younger they would have decided against playing charge in case either one got hurt.

Not anymore.

The rest of the exchange went as follows:

Oldest Son (he knows there is no "Santa"): Do you really think Santa would stop making our toys just because we got hurt playing together?

Me: nothing, silence

Oldest son: I really don't think Santa would ruin ou favorite day over a minor injury..

Youngest: Santa wouldn't do that to us, we have been good all year!

Me: Grumble and walk away.

Gone are the days of the irrational statement just to get out of doing more stuff for them or being there for them if they get hurt.

Crap.
Subscribe to my blog or I will hold my breath until I die!! Did it work?? :)

Cat

Fighting temptation and acting like a 2 year old

It has been raining here a LOT in Columbus. I think the news said had it been snow, it would be 40 inches. UGH. This weather makes me slow and sloth like. On my way home from another grueling day of FOUR hours of lunch lady land, all I wanted to do was stop at McD for some fast food so I could take a Sumo nap.

But something in my slow, tired brain told me not to. It told me it would take that many more minutes of working out to burn it off and did I really want to spend the money on it? The answer was no. So I came home, made a salad of chicken and salad stuff (the stuff in the bag) and made a nice salty dressing of Chinese chili sauce and a light Asian dressing. It hit the spot. Sometimes, if you stop and think what you really want in fast food, you can probably make it at home and it will be better for you. I like salty so I go for the dill pickles and ketchup. But actually, anything salty will do.

My weekend is too busy for me to be happy about. Fri night Daughter has a school function and we pick her up at 8:30, I work at the catering place  Sat morning from either 7-9am or 8-10am, Middle child has basketball Sat from 1-2, Daughter has to be at her school at 5pm for an hour long bus ride to a Christmas party where her band will perform and not be back until close to 11pm.

All of this is going on on my birthday. This is where the 2 year old comes in. I want the day to be about me and everyone should celebrate me all day. Reality: it isn't going to happen. Insert pouty lip here. When you have kids, it is rarely about you anymore. Shouldn't I know this all ready?? Anyway, boo boo lip is out.

Side note: had a can of mustard greens with my chicken for dinner and they were ok. Drain and sautee with lots of garlic, salt and pepper. Kind of like spinach, actually, a lot like spinach. I love anything green.

Have a nice Wednesday. I plan on knocking out most of the rest of my Xmas shopping. Then crawling into bed, sloth like.

Cat

A good place

Sometimes it is hard to feel like you are in a good place with your life. Kids homework, babies not sleeping thru the night, if at all, kid's illness, car trouble, rising bills, lower pay. We have ALL been there. All of us.

Happiness is not as far as you think. Most of the time, I think it is staring at me, asking me for more pizza, mac and cheese, cold water in a coconut cup, yoga pants from Pink, basketball shoes, a sandwich, a back scratch, clean clothes, a homework answer, a kiss, a hug, some dog food.

This time of year it is really easy to get caught up in what everyone wants for Christmas. Husband and I have been having somewhat serious discussions with the kids about the difference between Wants and Needs. For example: I WANT a laptop but what I really NEED is to come up with a schedule so everyone can take turns on this computer.

Our days of having a kazillion gifts under the tree for the kids is coming to a close. They all want expensive things so that means the get what they want and that is it. And while it may sting a little on Christmas morning when they open their few things and are done quickly, I think they will get over it by lunch time.

We have the kids go thru their toys and clothing to find gently used items to donate every Christmas to several charities and we also help with local food and clothing drives. It is really important for us to instill in the kids how fortunate they are and they should share what they have with those in need.

For my birthday this year, I asked for underwear. Having lost 40 lbs, I really do NEED some new undies. But what I really want? I really want my kids and Husband to be happy and healthy. That's all.

Have a great day and look for happiness all around you. It probably needs you to tie it's shoes right about now.

Cat

Redefining Goals and post Turkey day babble

How was the Best day EVER for you?? Did you eat until your pants burst?? I managed to rein it in but still enjoyed everything, but I mostly enjoyed my family and Husband's Family. We stopped at Husband's mom house on the way to my brother's and got to see everyone for a bit. I want to give a BIG shout out to my Husband's brother and his wife: they have lost some SERIOUS pounds. I didn't get a chance to ask my sis in law how she has done it but both of them look fantastic. PLEASE keep up the good work!! You need to stay healthy to chase those grandkids around!

The afternoon and evening at my Brother's was really great. The food was delicious, my other sis in law makes a mean gravy and everything else for that matter. The kids behaved and everyone were good sports and wore the "feather headdresses" my Daughter made. The paper feathers were a little too long, so they flopped over and we all looked like Jesters. It was really, really a great day. Oh, this is what a grilled turkey looks like:

Jealous? You should be, it was over the moon good. Still eating it, as a matter of fact, that was a big bird!

Other things that we worked on this weekend:

Tree is up and done, so is most of the outdoor decorating and all of the indoor.

Our big dog, Teddy, caught a squirrel today. But I wanted to show you these pics of him over the weekend. If you look between his paws, that is his squeeky cow that he is clutching as he looks out the back door towards the squirrels. Thought it was cute. Not the dead squirrel I had to get rid of, but the pics of him with squeeky cow.

After all the accolades I received over the Holiday weekend about how much weight I have lost, I have decided that losing an additional 13 lbs is unreasonable. There is honestly nothing more I can cut out of my diet and I don't have the time to workout more than I all ready do. I am sure I could do some crazy things to lose 13 lbs but weight loss is something I want to be able to maintain without doing crazy things. My new goal is to lose about 5 more pounds and that would put me at a respectable 142 lbs. I believe that is something I can achieve and maintain without starving myself. Life is too short to starve yourself!

So with that said, it is time to go down and do my Shred. I walked, ran, and did workout dvd's over the Holiday and managed to lose a pound. Yay!

I hope you had a great holiday and are looking forward to Christmas or what ever it is you celebrate. This is a stressful time of year but take the time to make some time for yourself. A less frazzled you is a gift to everyone!

Cat

Loose ends...

It is the day before the best day Ever and I am happy to report that I no longer have the raging sore throat that had me on the couch most of yesterday. My mother in law's concoction of whiskey and honey worked like a charm. Not to mention it helped me sleep like the dead.

I did not get my white trim painted before the holiday. Oh well. It will get done sooner or later I suppose. Or not. Meh.

I continue to do the Shred though I am missing more aerobic activity. So I am going to alternate between the Shred, running, and doing workout dvd's. This will help me from getting bored, too. Went for a run today and it felt great. Such a nice November day here. Thanksgiving last year, we had a little bit of snow. Not this year though, thank goodness!!

The green apple is still in my tree. I bought more apples, too.

Middle child, who is 9, just got new basketball shoes. A men's size 9. Holy cow, those are some big hooves!!

Daughter spent the entire day laying on the couch. Ahh to be 14 with no ambition or drive at all. I did make her fold laundry but even that she did on the couch.

I continue to try to eat mostly Paleo, though I have incorporated toast back into my breakfast. Youngest used to eat an insane amount of white hamburger buns and he is off that kick now and I do believe it was affecting his behavior somehow. He seems more agreeable and he is not eating near as much as he used to. No joke: he would eat three or four turkey sandwiches on hamburger buns when he would get home from school. Then he would eat a full dinner. So I think there is something to be said for limiting white bread, for him anyway.

I haven't had any more catering training. I emailed the HR girl last weekend with my availability but haven't heard back. There is a chance she is out of the office for the Holiday? Hopefully I will hear back at the beginning of next week.

I think that is all I have to say. I need to put laundry away and clean up my kitchen for the second time today. I hope everyone has a great day tomorrow and you won't hear from me because I will be knee deep in the best day ever!!

Happy Thanksgiving, Friends and Family!!

Cat

Being Afraid and sweet potato casserole

My Boss at my Lunch Lady job pointed out something to me last week that left me without words. She said "You use the word "afraid" a lot. I hear you say "I am afraid of what Middle child's teacher will say at his conference" or "I am afraid to move up to level 2 of the 30 day Shred". What, exactly, are you so Afraid of??"

Ummm..stammer....silence..I never really thought about it until she made that comment. I do use the word "afraid" and "fear" an awful lot.

I think some of this stems from my inability to think on my feet. I am a planner and anything that is not planned throws me for a loop. I don't know how to verbally react to things sometimes, so I worry more about my reaction than the actual situation. What if I get to the parent teacher conference and she tells me Middle child is on the road to being a Serial Killer? What do I say? I am Afraid of how I will react.

What I really need to practice is: Silence is Golden. If I don't know what to say, just don't say anything. This is hard for me because I go for the laugh as much as possible (Youngest got in trouble in school last week for being "too much of a comedian". Heh heh..) So I am working on it. I am working on being less Afraid and Fearful of things that may never happen or even if they do, I will find a way to get thru them. Quietly.

Now to the sweet potato casserole.

I have never made such a thing because, well, it grosses me out. But, all the ingredients were on sale and I thought what the heck (don't be afraid of the casserole!) and I made it tonight. I did not have all the spices needed but made it with sweet potatoes, maple syrup, light brown sugar (this is a GREAT body scrub if you have some left over), and marshmallows. Husband liked it (he was the one that wanted it in the first place) but thought it was too sweet. I thought the whole point of this casserole was to melt your fillings?? I took a small bite and thought it was ok but can't imagine eating a whole bunch of it. But he went back for seconds so it couldn't have been so bad. 

I am closing in on 42 and I seriously need to lighten up and let things go. I know plenty of people that live this way and they are happy and still here, so I need to go that route. I don't want to become complacent but I really need to learn to relax more about everything. 

Two more days till the best day ever.

Cat

Being Thankful

As you all know, we are THREE days away from the best day EVER. I like to think of myself as a very thankful and grateful person. I had a great childhood (though I may have taken it for granted most of the time), have great kids, an over the top, out of this world Husband, and several jobs that I actually like. I know those things seem like every day things but I know too many people that cannot list those things as things they are thankful for.
 Here is my quirky list, that I will no doubt add to as the week goes on, of things I am thankful for:

*The microwave and toaster oven: without these, I would not be able to make my kids breakfast and lunch.

*My dogs' soft ears: rubbing their ears when I am down gives great comfort. And I think they dig it, too.

*The first Austin Powers movie. I still laugh like a loon 14 years after it's release.

*Non stick pans. They make clean up soo easy.

*The Earnhardt family: thank you for so many years of great racing (and Jeff Gordon, because I think he is cute).

*The way "Don't Stop Believe'n" has taken over a new generation.

*The internet. Doing homework with the kids is a breeze with Google and all the other search engines.

*Chevy Chase. You can catch either a Fletch movie or National Lampoon flick starring him anytime of the year on tv. Or on Community on Thurs nights.

*Being able to say "I am sorry". Those three words are imperative in being a humble person. Wars have been started over the inability of people to say those three words. USE Them.

*The green apple out in my dead Elm tree. There was a Cardinal sitting on it this morning. I still feel like it is trying to say something to me but I don't know what. Maybe I am out of apples??

*Squirrels. We have a lot of them around here and I love how fat they get in the fall and how skittish they are. I can completely relate.

*My dental hygienist. She does all the dirty work and my wad of a dentist (can you tell I don't like him?) pokes around for a second and is done. 

*All of my women friends and family that have started their own business. You rock. I will post a blog, soon, of these such sites. You all deserve a shout out. You know, to all of my FIVE followers.

*That I can make my Husband laugh. A good, deep belly laugh always brightens my day.

*Second chances. Lots of good things have come from second chances.

*The people that work with victims of abuse and rape, albeit adults or children. To have to listen to their stories day in and out is more than most people can bear.

*Refigerated pie crusts and wonton wrappers. All kinds of goodies can fill these easy to bake wrappers.

*Friends that text me funny things thru out the day. Keep them coming!

I asked Husband and kids what they are thankful for:

Husband: healthy kids and a smokin hot wife (ok, I may have embellished what he said about me. But it was close to that).

Daughter: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

Middle child: that my mom is working 4 jobs so I can get an Xbox for Christmas.

Youngest: That I am getting a Nintendo DS for Christmas (wait, what??? No no, you asked for the TRex and that is what Santa is working on...no Nintendo for you young man.)

The moral of my tale is this: there are all kinds of things to be thankful for. Doesn't matter how small or silly it may seem, if it gives you joy, be thankful.

Gobble Gobble.

Cat

MIA

I apologize for not blogging for the last couple days. I have been running around doing things for the kids, trying to get thru the 30 day shred, and spending countless hours laying awake worrying about my new job that I start this morning.

So of course, Youngest was up most of the night not feeling well. I will be starting my new job on about 4 hours of sleep (as I was drying my hair this morning, he came in and said 'Whew, that was the longest night EVER). Amen to that!

I have also been busy annoying the crap out of my sister in law about Thanksgiving. I do think worrying about the details helps me relax, or maybe it is keeping my mind off being anxious about starting this job. Either way, I promise to stop. I will sit back and let her handle Thanksgiving.

Two close friends have had family members diagnosed with cancer this week. This is not the way to start the Holiday season.

I turn 42 in two weeks. My goal between now and then is to either maintain my weight or lose 2 lbs. I am up a little, this happened last time I started doing the Shred, but I refuse to gain any weight over Thanksgiving. Flat out refuse. Then Husband bought a big tub of salted assorted nuts at Sam's club and I am having  a hard time staying out of them. Darn you, Husband!!

I need to get ready for work. I will report on how it went when I get back..and after a nap...

I am back from a successful morning of training! And as usual, the was nothing for me to be so worried about. My worry stemmed from going to the staff meeting Monday night and the Head Chef seemed a little...well....grouchy. I was worried that he would be that way this morning and that I would suck at everything. Head Chef was there but his Sous Chef was the one that trained me. And I love him! Nicest kid, really helped me out, taught me how to make chicken stock (the really yummy kind you can eat right out of the pan with nothing else in it!) and really showed me the ropes. I think I am going to like working there. Physically it is a lot of hard work but I really enjoy that.

Here's an odd thing: looking out my kitchen window, I can see our half dead elm tree. All the leaves are off so you can see all the way thru the tree. Looking out there this morning, I noticed a green apple sitting at the cross of two branches. Where did THAT come from?? Husband and I guess a squirrel or one of those big, scary brown hawk things left it there. It's just a funny contrast between the grey, dead branches and the bright green apple. I almost think it is a sign, but I am not sure for what. I kind of hope it stays there so I can continue to get a chuckle out of it.

I think I am back in my groove again. Though I did skip the Shred today for a big fat cat nap instead. After last night, I needed it. I am thinking Youngest will be in bed by 7pm, he looks whipped, too.

I hope everyone has a great rest of your weekend. Thanks for reading!!

Cat

I think she hates fat people

An odd title, I know, but it has been one of those days.

My Boss, who I really like and am thankful every day to have as a boss, has been kicking ASS at losing weight with Weight Watchers. She and her husband are on it and are cranking out fantastic numbers every week. Then she told me she lost close to 4 lbs last week. I stopped in my tracks. I know how hard it is to lose the smaller you get. "What are you doing differently?" I asked. To myself I am thinking she is popping pills, doing the Kardashian  Kleanse....

But the answer was much worse than I thought.

I have this dvd and near died when I did it at 187 lbs. But my Boss is rocking it, looks great, so I thought "What the heck? I lift weights. I run. I can surely get thru this workout that used to make me into jello. I AM the nut that wants heavier weights for my birthday."

So today I started my 30 day shred. For those of you that are normal and would never do this to yourself, let me quickly explain what this is. It is a 22 minute long dvd that spends 3 minutes on strength, 2 minutes on cardio and 1 minute on abs. Rinse and repeat twice thru that sequence and you are done. Sounds easy.

Not so much.

I sweat more in that 22 minutes than I did on my 6.55 mile run. She has you working multiple muscle groups, up and down off the map, and other torture methods. I think I sobbed and blacked out at one point but I am not sure. I do remember yelling out loud "I think she hates fat people!!"

I know I will never look like the women in her dvd (they look like something out of a warrior/model catalog) but I am determined to see the 30 days thru. I will not be doing my normal weights since this pretty much sucks the life out of me but I hope to still run, if I can, a couple days a week.

Join me on this journey to hell, won't you??

Cat

Hubcaps and being out of my league

Recently, my Husband has been stopping in the middle of roadways to pick up these:

He says he wants a "collection" for the garage. Umm..we have a lot of stuff all ready IN the garage, so much that we can only get one car in. The first one he "collected" was a shiny one, so I could kind of see the allure. But the other day, we were going to the store and there was one on the side of the road. Without so much as two words to each other, he stopped the car and I jumped out to get it. It was kind of scuffed and in my sane eyes, not worth keeping. But he said he would "paint" it to make it shiny. Great.  I have now become an accomplice to his new found "collection". We even had Youngest in the car who was not quite sure what to make of our "pit stop". There are a lot of questions I have for Husband about this new found hobby, but I am holding them back for over the holidays when he is home a lot. We will need something to talk about.

I got the catering job.

I have a lot of training to go thru and realized as I was surrounded by people with Culinary degrees, I know NOTHING about food, how it is prepared, served. Nothing. I was VERY out of my comfort zone this evening with all the professionals and I know it showed when I turned bright pink talking about my LACK of experience in this field. They must be desperate for someone to wash dishes because I think that is all I will be good for. It is an odd mix of people I will be working with and I swear to the HEAVENS, the other new girl next to me was like April from Parks and Rec. She was just mad at everyone and the only time I got her to lighten up towards the totally out of her league person (me) was when I asked her about where to find comfy, black, non slip shoes. She brightened right up (so did most of the men there..hmmm..) and told me where to find some. As did the guys there. Seems a trip to Walmart is in order.

Lots of changes going on. I am scared to death of learning something new but boy, the money will be nice and I love the fact that it is physical work. I don't think I could work at a desk again.

Hope you all are having a good start to your week. Keep an eye out for nice shiny hubcaps (until I get further clarification as to what his "collection" consists of).

Thanks for reading!!

Cat

Catching up

This month has gone by really fast. We are almost half way thru and it leaves me feeling two things: 1) READY for Thanksgiving and the joy it gives me and 2) absolute panic that I have NOT started Christmas shopping yet! I have a really busy week coming up that is filled with an interview with a catering company, two parent teacher conferences, a band performance, and various other commitments. Of course several of these things fall on the same night at the same time so Husband and I will split up and do the best we can to cover everyone.

As I was panicking about the week to come, I thought I would think back to some goals I set and where I am and how I am feeling about things.

But first, I want to tell you about my weekend. Friday night was our Vets Day parade and Husband was in it. It gives us all such a thrill to see him part of the parade. Saturday night we went to our friends house and hung out with their friends for a bit. Nothing brings happiness like getting together with people you truly love and don't see enough of. We all say we need to do it more but as you all know, life gets in the way. But I will really make an effort as I had such a good time! We also got a lot of house cleaning done, some clothes shopping for small people who aren't so small anymore and of course, a trip to the library. I love the library. I could devote a whole blog to why I love the library. But I won't. It would be pretty boring.

Ok, so back to my goals.

# My month of YES has been a weird one. I said I would eat what I want and not log anything. After one day of that, I felt out of control and not happy not knowing what my calorie and fat counts were. So I am back to tracking, still primarily eating Paleo though this time of year I become a SOUP whore and can't get enough of a good can of soup. Had three cans today. Oh lord, I just realized my mom is a soup whore, too. Must run in the family, daughter had a can for breakfast!. Note to all: buy stock in Progresso and Campbell's.

# I have not put in as much running as I should be a week though I have upped my distance to three miles when I run. I am lacking motivation primarily due to two things: I need new shoes (bday money is coming in a month) and I have not signed up for the May 2012 race yet (see above note about bday money). But despite me trying to talk myself out of running, I put some new tunes on my Itouch and hit the street this morning. It felt really good to get out there.

# I really like the way my body is responding to lifting weights. I do a full body workout three days a week with 8 and 10lb weights, nothing crazy, but arms, legs, core. I love that I can do it while watching FoodNetwork. I work up a great sweat and my new size 10 jeans are too big on me. I have toned everything up and I know it helps with my running, too. I have asked for a set of 12 lb weights from Husband for my bday. Lame, I know.

#Tomorrow I start Christmas shopping. Some of what I need is on sale and I have coupons. We are going for an all cash, no credit card Christmas. I know it can be done because I am sticking to my "only get them what they want" theory. No filler gifts just to open stuff, my mom will take care of that. Each child wants about two or three things and that seems reasonable. I also plan on socking away 20 bucks a week from now until Middle child's birthday. I will get him his much wanted Xbox plus one game. That should make for a pretty good 10th birthday, wouldn't you say? But shhh...It's a surprise :)

# I have NOT started painting the white trim yet. We are getting our carpets cleaned next Sat so I am waiting for that to be done (procrastinating) then I will try to get it knocked out in a couple days. I know once I start it will go fast. It is the "once I start" part that trips me up.

# I was able to tactfully talk to Middle child about the Penn State stuff. I asked if he knew what happened and he said that someone did something wrong and no one spoke up about it. I left it at that but fear he knows more than a 9 year old boy should: when Husband had ESPN on the days following, Middle child would not go in if they were talking about what happened to the boys. I suppose that was a smart move but he looked really afraid. The whole thing still sucks.

#Middle child starts his first season of basketball this Monday. Soo much cheaper than hockey and he has not ONCE mentioned missing hockey. Now all he wants to do is watch NCAA basketball. I hope he does well and likes it. I know nothing about basketball so I can be of no help. Of course his first game is the same time that Daughter has a Taiko drumming event out of town, so again we will divide and conquer. 

# I would like a clone of myself and Husband for my birthday. Anyone interested in helping out with that, please let me know.

I hope you all had a great weekend and a less than crazy week than I have. I do not like being busy in the evenings. I do like my sweat pants, FoodNetwork and a glass of wine. I like my Husband on the other couch with both dogs on either side, like bookends, and I do like the kids in bed before 9pm.

So facing a week I do not like, I should remember the things at home I do like. Makes it more bearable that way.

Happy Monday, friends!!

Cat

My Veteran

Husband reads my blog now and I thought it was appropriate to thank him, in public, for serving our Country for over two decades and being a hero to me and his children.

He has volunteered not once, but twice to fight for our Country. This is something, to this day, I can't fathom. I have a healthy fear of confrontation and guns and bullets whizzing by my head. But not my Veteran. He fears  nothing and was willing to risk his life to make sure his family and Country remain free.

There are so many Vets that come home from war to broken marriages, unemployment and health issues. It is really quite appalling how we treat the men and women who have fought for OUR right to be free. There will be thousands of troops coming home in the upcoming months and I hope they come back to a life that is better than when they left. They deserve the best.

If you see a man or woman in uniform, please thank them for serving our Country. They make a conscious choice to keep us safe, the least, and I mean the very least, we can do is say Thank You.

My Vet, I love you and you are my hero everyday.

Cat

Fall of a Legend

It is a very sad day for any of us that follow Penn State football. My dad went to Penn State and Joe Pa has always been revered in our house.

My 9 year old son wants to know why he was fired. I am at a loss as to what is off limits to tell him. Of course we have had the stranger danger talk, and the don't let anyone touch you anywhere talk. I suppose I can leave out the gory details and tell him the basics: Joe Pa reported on someone who was doing something bad, but he should have done more. So he was fired.

It is hard for me to explain to him that even our idols do wrong sometimes. I don't know what kind of message that sends to him.

I hope he gains an understanding that we should always do more. Never be afraid to speak up. That goes for all of us.

Cat

8 weeks left in 2011

Ahhh!! I can't believe how fast this year went. I find myself saying that more and more the older I get. Time is flying by and just as I'm finally writing the correct year on my checks, I will have to get used to 2012.

I have a couple goals I would like to see completed by the end of this year. Thought I would share them.

Start painting the white trim that is all over my house. Years of hotwheels being rammed into trim has made them very scarred and neglected.

Lose these last 13 lbs! That is less than 2 lbs a week and I know I can do it.

Continue to run and work on my speed.

Get my Christmas shopping done by the beginning of Dec.

Win the lottery.

What are your plans for now until the end of the year? Going to clean out that closet you keep neglecting? Going to finish that book you started months ago?

Whatever it is, do your best at it. That is a great way to end the year!

Cat

The Ho Hums

I love this time of year. My favorite Holiday is coming, spending time with family, all the good stuff.

But every now and then, the dark little depression monster sneaks in. It is this way for me from now until about May.

This time of year has been historically dark for us. Holidays come and go but the lack of light, holiday bills, and general malaise sets in and I feel like

I don't want to do anything, see anyone, make time to be happy. I just want to hibernate until Spring comes.

Two things saved me from spending more time than I should have last winter as Jabba: I signed up for the 1/4 marathon and knew if I didn't run as much as I could over the winter, I would die on the run in May. And 2: Husband has a new job that he really likes and is less likely to fall into the winter dooldrums with me.

But the darkness still has a way of sneaking in on me. I was feeling it a lot today until I realized that I wasn't actually unhappy just really tired. Worked 4 hours (yeah, go ahead, laugh. But that is TWICE my shift) went to the grocery and then ran 3 miles. I feel slightly accomplished that I can recognize that I am tired and not sad. Yay for me!!

I know this time of year is really tough on a lot of people. We all struggle to figure out how we can celebrate, buy gifts, and not go bankrupt all within a couple months. This Christmas I am adopting a policy of buying the kids only what they ask for, within reason. I will not buy "filler" gifts so it looks like they have more under the tree, will not buy stocking stuffers they don't want (I will be filling them with Halloween candy!!). Too often I worry about quantity when all the kids really want is what they want.

That should be an all year policy. Only ask for what you want and I bet you will get it.

Have a great Tuesday!!

Cat

PS. For Christmas, I would like one more "follower". Not a stalker, just a "follower". Thank you.

Back to reality

I had a really great night away with my friends. I am in awe of my gal pals as they are a fierce group of women that have their crap together. Everyone should have a group of friends that are as great as they are.

Some of my trip highlights are:

Not being called "mom" for a whole 24 hours
Not being asked for food or drinks or to tie shoes or to find the duct tape..
Being able to go to a mall without any kids in tow
Bowling without bumpers (though, I really could have used them. I SUCK at bowling!!)
Basking in the glow of Covington's many tobacco and liquor stores as we roamed the streets at night
Seeing a Kevin from the Office look a like at breakfast

But most of all, the best part was hanging out and talking with my three amazing friends. We have all had different paths that have lead us to where we are now, and I am so thankful that I picked them up along the way.

We really must do it more often.

Now it is back to laundry and "what's for dinner?" and thinking about parent-teacher conferences and why can't I lose these last 13 lbs and blah blah blah. You know the drill.

Now go call a girlfriend and chat for awhile. I guarantee you she needs a break from what she is doing.

Cat

Out of Office

I am excited to report that I am able to break away from a sick kid (Who at the moment is having a motherload of a fit about spilling some water) and tired Husband (he has been working a lot this week, or at least it seems like it) to go south for a night with some of my closest friends. We started doing this a couple years ago and have tried to do it yearly, though it is tough with everyone's schedules.

But 4 of us were able to clear a night and we are going to Party like Kentucky Girls!

Minus the short shorts and hay, but it will be a good time regardless. I plan on drinking a lot of these

and enjoying adult conversation with three of the best gals on the planet.

It took me a lot of years to get to a place within myself to feel ok about leaving Husband with the kids. They aren't that hard to handle but seeing as they have become my life's work, I don't think anyone can do it nearly as good as I do. Or as right as I do. It's all about being right, am I right??

Husband does a great job with them and in fact, I think they like when I go out of town. Lots of pizza and donuts are eaten, bedtimes are stretched to an inch of their lives, no one has to bathe..you get the idea. Guy stuff. Stinky, yucky, guy stuff.

So it is with a BIG smile on my face that I will be leaving soon. I plan to enjoy every second of adult time with my friends, take in the sights, and just enjoy being away. Neighbors, if you hear Husband screaming, there is a good chance the boys got hold of the lighter fluid and duct tape. You may want to call 911.

Cat

PS- I am backing down a little on the Month of Yes as my pants have started screaming NO when I put them on.

BFF

BFF

For a time in my adult life, I didn't see the value of having a best friend. I did as a kid and thru high school, I had some great friends that I still talk to. But once I got married the first time, I closed myself off to most female relationships. I didn't feel they were worth my time and they usually ended up dissolving over some silly argument.  I am happy to say that now, I have a lot of great female friends that I rely on, laugh and cry with and would do anything for. If you don't have a BFF, you really should get at least one, two if you can. Three is even better.

What prompted me to write this blog is this: women put other women down. We judge other women as we are far superior to them, more than happy to point out someone's flaws or shortcomings. Why do we do this?? We don't judge men this harshly and men don't judge each other this harshly. I subscribe to a couple blogs of women who do weight lifting, Paleo eating, etc. A few of these ladies have had breast augmentations, mostly because they have had kids, lost a lot of weight and want their boobies to look good. I think those are all great reasons and really, who cares? They are their boobies to do with as they please. If someone would like to pay for me to get nice boobies, let me know, I will set up a Paypal account. But I digress...

But women get on their blogs and BLAST them for being "fake" and how can they promote a clean lifestyle when they have fake boobies? I mean, they just tear them apart. Why would you follow this person's blog if all you are going to do is tear them apart? Would you do that to a friend who had fake boobies? I think not.

Women, PLEASE stop being so hard on each other. We need to support each other, help each other and stop being so darn critical.

So next time you are tempted to comment on a gal who's butt looks big in her jeans, ZIP it and tell her how nice she looks today. You will make her day and you will feel better, too.

Cat