Floundering

I have been feeling a lot like this lately: A Flounder, just floundering along. I feel as though I am in a pit of despair when it comes to working out, losing weight, and eating well. Ok, maybe not a pit of despair, more like a puddle of non-motivation. After that 4.5 lb weight gain ( I did get two of those pounds off quickly by staying away from the tater tot) I have had no direction, no aim. Just floundering along.(side note: how seriously messed up looking is a flounder?? I am going to put your eyes and mouth on top, give you one fin, and squash you like a pancake. Voila! We have A Flounder!).

The Me of Christmas pasts would have a conversation with myself (it may be out loud if I am in the car or alone) that goes like this:

Why are you worried about your weight? You lost 40 lbs and look great. Life is short, you should eat what you want and exercise when you want. You are the adult here, you make the decisions!! Who cares if you are getting squishy in places again? Husband loved you when you were a hideous troll, what's a couple squishy places between spouses??

But the new, improved, 42 year old me had this conversation with myself today:

You know what? I have hit a rough spot, the holidays are here, my schedule is crazy. It's not going to hurt you to eat better at every meal and pop in a workout video a couple times a week (I actually went to the library and got some new ones, just to add some variety). You worked hard to get this weight off and you know how good you feel when you are lifting weights, eating well, and doing aerobics. We will get back to a schedule in a couple days. Hang in there.

Now there's a pep talk I can stand behind. I am looking forward to putting my new library dvd's in tomorrow and busting out some hip hop moves! Laugh if you must but I was this close to getting a Richard Simmons dvd!! Hip hop seemed a little more my speed, but we will see. I may be more Sweating with the Oldies than I thought!!

The highlight of my day, actually the highlight of a long time, was going with Husband and the boys to meet my nephew at the airport. He is on a 20 day Army leave from Korea (things are not well there, it was lucky he got out for leave) and it was soo nice to give him a big hug (ok, it was more of him giving me a big hug because he is a tall man!!) and have the boys get to see him. Youngest told him that he prays for him every night and that really touched my nephew. Truly a great night for all of us. So glad he is home. 

As for me, I will be all right. I will jump over that puddle of non-motivation and get back on the right track. It can be done and I know how to do it!!

Have a great night.

Cat